I'll Never Leave

Chapter 3

Tris

I wake up not in my apartment but in the same room I have memories from the war. I sigh and get up putting on a fresh pair of clothes I brought with me.

I hope he doesn't come here. I don't think he would think to look for me here but what if he comes because they get a house or something. I don't want to have to leave and go outside the wall again but if he comes I will have to.

I hear the bell ring probably for breakfast.

I made a deal with Mayra: She won't tell anyone I'm here as long as I help with the kids. She says she doesn't have a lot of workers or money so she needs the help.

I feel a sharp pain in my chest as I exit the room and see a group of children running towards the dining hall. It reminds me of the family I started only to leave behind. I hope they're okay. I only left just last night, Tobias probably already knows but I don't know if Natalie knows. I feel bad for leaving them, leaving my family. I have to remind myself that I am doing it for their good.

I start to walk towards the dining hall in the mass of children. I do not look out of place. Maybe it will be easier to blend in here than I thought. I still hope I don't have to stay here for a while. I have been here one night and I already miss Tobias and Natalie.

I walk in line with a bunch of children and get my food. I sat down next to Mayra. It's strange for two people who used to know nothing about each other becoming friends because one is forced to run away from her family.

"What happened to you after you left, Mayra?" I ask her and she sighs.

"Edward and I went to go find the factionless. Edward was so stuck up and proud, it was like he belonged in Dauntless. But since he had his accident he–among other people, I hear–hated Peter. He swore if he ever saw him again he would mess him up big time. One night we got into an argument and he snapped. He hit me before he knew what he was doing. He tried to apologize telling me that he didn't know what had happened to him but I wouldn't listen to him. There was no way I was turning into someone who just accepted abuse so I left. Soon after the war happened and I didn't want to go back and rot in the factionless sector so I left and went to Johanna. She helped me and her kindness was great. And about two years ago she asked me to open up a children's center. And now here I am."

"Why did you join Dauntless? No offense but I didn't seem like you wanted to hurt people."

"I joined because Edward did. I thought I loved him, I really did. I choose against my faction and I didn't follow my test results."

"What were your test results?"

"Amity." She smiles and I can't help but smile too.

+++

I walk back into my room. It was a long day, I didn't mind being busy taking my mind off of Tobias and Natalie. I think about what might be happening outside. If there were to be a war shouldn't I have taken Natalie with me, maybe even Tobias? Here in the dark, I am faced with what I have been trying to put off. As the tears roll down my cheeks I think about how I did this for the best. I ran away so they could be safe. As long as Tobias doesn't know where I am he is safe.

I put on some more comfortable clothes and lay in bed. Sleep will help me avoid it all.