"WITH YOU" (kthxreader)

         🥀CHAPTER:18🥀

(y/n pov)

"i stop for a while and suddenly the moment that happened lately in my bias room of this hotel,pop up in my mind and i don't know why they are here.
"FLASH BACK"

"while he observing my face,i also stare at him,or let say in his face that i really,really want to hold it,touch it with my bare hands and rub it slowly of my thumbs,to feel the warm of it,and i wat to put aside his hair  just to full view those oceanic eyes of him,that everytime i look at him or even staring at those poster everywhere, i feel this kinf of sadness that makes me suffer from the pain that i feel in my throat that i try so hard to swallow the lump just not to cry anywhere in the place that i accidentally saw his face or image,of course that was because he is famous.and also i include those pang in my heart that i feel inside my chest that i feel like it slowly crash,and all  of this is I've been suffering since i found out that i fell inlove with him,even though this is not right,but what should i do about it?, im just a human who are know how to love or know how to fall  inlove and im not like a robot that has no feeling. "i  didn't continue those thought about him when he talk to me again that i quickly take away my eyes from him that i think and i can feel  my eyes are getting shine by my tears that about to flow out,that's why i immediately take a back and i bid goodbye to him then i open the door in a hurrying up way that i can feel my hands are shaking like it almost don't know how to open it,and when i  finally open that door of his room i make a fast observe the surroundings that maybe that bad guy is still there,after a few minutes when i confirm that no one is there i quickly make a fast step just to get there in my own room,and also just to avoid him.
(flash back end)

"After remembering those moment, i start crying that at first it was not so hard,but then time goes by it became so hard that i feel so much pain in my chest,mostly the inside of it,and that was my heart, that i can feel he most painful from that part,and with that i totally broke down and cry more like i think my breath is bout to stop, knowing that i'v become one sided love from him,and yes its because im just one of his fans that dreaming or having a day dream about him and me that someday we can be together,but its impossible to happened,and about our situation now is that just because my bestfriend ann-may who are thier sponsor  of the clothes that they are wearing at the concert,and that's the reason why we just talk a little bit because he only know that im a younger sister of ann-may, but what if he only know me as an ordinary person not a rich one, not unlike my bestfriend who is the daughter of a millioner in our country?,would he still be friends with me?,and as of now,what if he know about my identity that im not the younger sister of ceo ann-may. in that thought i feel the nervousness in me that what if this will happened someday. i bit my lip trying not to cry so hard again but then i can't,i can't stop them from falling from my eyes that its already swollen and my nose are also shedding a pinkish color that cause from crying. "gosh why i became miserable,or why i become like this to him?" i mumble  to myself with my crack tone that i breath so deep.

"After from crying so hard,i slowly calm myself,but  if any one can see me in this state of mine,they can obviously notice that i cry so hard because of my puffy eyes and pinkish nose that even my cheeks are also pinkish,that's what i am since i was a child the reason is my skin is milky smooth white that even a  small scars or wound marks you can't see them because i don't have it,as in any of that,so i thank to my mother for taking good care of me.after a few minutes i heard some knock on the door of our room and then a few second i heard a twist at the door knob in my room,to see who it was i turn my head at the door erea,then i found my bestfriend that she already have a worried face when she saw me that i was seating on the floor why i was in my crying mess. "oh my,what happened my buttercup,why are you crying?" she ask me while im getting up from the floor and approaching to her just to ask some comfort hug,that when i reach her we automatically hug each other then she immediately caressing my back just to comfort me and making me feel comfort.
"come seat with me,let's talk about happened that why your crying." she said while guiding me to my own bed that we both sat the edge of it. "ijji malhaebwa." (now tell me) she said to start our conversation. that at first i hasitate to tell her but then. "no,i must tell her this,because she is my bestfriend." i thought that im so thankful to have her in my life,well unfortunately we both like this being inlove to our idol even though we already know that we cross the line of being thier fans.but we are different, because she was strong one and im not, im the weakiest one in two of us. then i slowly look up to her  that i still have some tears in my eyes and also her i can see she's in her eyes that shinning from those tears that i think its also about to flow out from there that i can feel she also feel the way of what i feel now.
"so now come on tell,and its okey if you cry again, my shoulder are ready whenever you need to lean on them." she said to me that i start to feel those lumps in my throat again.

" hi to all my beloved reader thanks to your time that you spend,i hope you like it 😊💜💜💜"