Love, Aristotle

chapter 26

Aristotle

Actions were worth a million words. Literally. Especially when it came to Damon.

He wasn't a man of many words but he acted a certain way and did certain things that meant more than anything. His soul spoke a certain language, one that mine understood perfectly. Our hearts, bound together even when we were apart.

I could feel him. It didn't make sense but it didn't have to. Love was complicated like that. Different for everyone. But the same with the right person.

He was the right person for me. Though, time, for that matter, I wasn't so sure. Lately, time's been cruel. It seemed like we never had enough, if any at all.

I had exams all day so I couldn't talk to him. Yet, I could feel what he was feeling. My chest ached at the thoughts of how we left things off the other night.

With him coming over smelling like another girl and leaving right after he was done with me. It hurt a lot. I was sure I had it all wrong but perhaps I didn't. I trusted too much, none the wiser. I had always been too kind, too caring. It would only be a matter of time before someone took advantage of the fact that I was heartfelt.

I couldn't change if I wanted to. Even if I was breaking inside. Even when the thoughts got too loud. The doubts seeped in and sudden realization hit me like a truck. It never occurred to me until recently but he was probably getting bored. That would explain a lot.

The late nights when he'd come over for one thing and leave suddenly. The short and curt responses, the zoning out. He shouldn't have to hide from me. If he didn't love me anymore, I'd understand. I didn't even want to be around myself anymore. Every time I looked in the mirror, someone else stared back at me.

Tears brimmed my eyes, threatening to fall. I didn't let them.

Actions spoke louder than words and I could think of all the things he wanted to say. He was bored. He fell in love with me and fell out of it. And I was too in love to stop it. If he wanted to leave, I'd let him. All I wanted was for him to be happy.

I wasn't enough.

Staring down at the flowers on my bed, I wiped my tears and tried to find a trace of butterflies that used to give me. The ones he used to give me. He still did, but they're dying slowly. They've wilted, grown too tired. And so was I.

That didn't stop the small ache in my chest, followed by something fluttering against my heart. At this point, I didn't want my heart anymore. I gave him everything but he always ended up leaving afterwards. It wasn't the same anymore. I've changed and so had he. Difference was, I wasn't enough and he had other priorities.

I never cared that he had other things to do, because no matter what, he was always there for me. I had priorities too, yet I put him first. Now, we fell further and further apart.

It hurt because I still loved him and he didn't. I hoped that wasn't the case. But once my mind got a thought, the rest of me listened. The noise got louder and louder. And I couldn't hear him anymore.

I hated it.

I picked up the flowers, managing the faintest of smiles. He was still in there somewhere. Just gone. Perhaps everyone was right. I hadn't listened because I saw him for him. But as of late, I couldn't even recognize him anymore.

What happened to the boy who they were wrong about? Where did my Damon go? The boy who stole glances at me, always catching my eyes,  The boy who came up to me and asked me to homecoming. The one who ate with me in the library and listened to me rant about useless things. The boy who made me smile, laugh and fall in love. The boy who took me out on spontaneous dates. The boy who loves stargazing and sushi. The boy who loved me.