Love, Aristotle

chapter 28

Aristotle

Before

Wednesdays we're always the best days.

Yesterday was Tuesday, tomorrow will be Thursday and the day after would turn into Friday.

And they were the best because it was one of the only days I didn't have dance class. Meaning Damon and I could sneak out and do something together.

I liked Wednesdays because Lorie went to her chess club, mom went to hang out with her friends and dad had a night shift. I had the house to myself.

I loved being alone. Which most of the time, I was. Basically, I was a loner. I had friends but I preferred staying home and keeping a distance. I wasn't sure what it was but I honestly didn't like them that much.

Except Lainey, obviously. The others were...fun. They constantly berated me for going out with Damon, only talked about themselves. Sometimes, they'd even make fun of the smarter kids in our grade, including me and cause unnecessary drama with people.

I tolerated them, I really did but overtime, people changed and I wanted other things in life. I didn't want to be around them as much anymore.

I didn't feel bad, I just felt lonely.

I never felt like I belonged. I guess it was a me problem because I felt that way most of the time, everywhere. Even at home. I felt like I was someone else. It was as if slowly, I was slipping away. Pulled into the depths of loneliness. But then, when I was around him or doing something I loved, spending my time with the right people, the loneliness went away. I was myself again.

I knew exactly why.

I've been thinking a lot, especially on this particular Wednesday evening. I'll be turning eighteen in less than two years, what would happen then? Who would I be?

This wasn't abnormal. Always the thinker, I often found myself in another life, thinking ahead. Maybe too ahead for that matter. So I sat there, in my room, on the floor, leaning against my bed, staring off into space. Secretly wishing I could be there right now.

I've never felt so alone before.

And Wednesdays were supposed to be good. Yet today was not. It wasn't bad either but it just didn't feel like a Wednesday.

I sighed and looked back at my diary, opened to an empty page. Bringing my pen to the paper, I let the thoughts flow in and wrote them away.

Moments later, hours later. To me time was basically an illusion. When I was sad, it tended to go by slowly, and the opposite when I was happy. And when I was with him, time stopped, the world ceased to rotate around the sun and mine, revolved only around him. He was my world.

But he didn't know it yet.

I was going to tell him! Soon. Sometime. Maybe. Yes. I had to. We've been going out for a while now and naturally, my feelings for him had skyrocketed. My heart grew twice as big just to hold it all in. Anytime he was around, it felt like it was going to burst right out of my chest. Everything ricocheted.

Anyways, moments later, I felt better than I did earlier. Two pages were covered in my writing and thoughts.

Somehow, I didn't have the feeling like something was crushing me, suffocating me. Lighter. I felt lighter.

Then something hit my window, immediately making me look up. My heartbeat quickened as the window slid open, bringing the late night breeze in, brushing through my room.