To Learn

Chapter 1: Clemency

I slowly made my way through the frozen forests of Narnia, to the "Queen's" castle. I have walked this path over and over for a long century, memorizing every nook and cranny this nation has. I no longer cared of what the Witch does with me; I wouldn't mind being disposed of, I've suffered enough humiliations from her. Yet my soul, my heart, my body refuse to yield, always fighting death even when it's close. I paused, with a little effort raised my head up, to look at the ever cloudy skies, with no emotion, just to see the gray blanket far above. I haven't seen the sun- no, I haven't experienced a sunny day for so long, I can no longer remember what it was like, to run through a green and vibrant forest, through wide grasslands and fresh rivers... All I know now is a constant and painful numbness. It is always cold, never a single sliver of warmth throughout the whole kingdom; I've searched long enough to know. My cursed armor does not help in the matter either, even if I wished to take it off, only a Son of Adam or Daughter of Eve can do it. But that could as well be a lie.

Now the Witch has requested my services in the castle, to "guard an important guest." Those were Maugrim's exact words, at least. Whoever had been unfortunate enough to fall on her grasp must have information worth keeping him alive. Regardless, I'll just do as told, it's not like I have much of a choice.

Still, after all these years, who would be... naïve enough for such a thing? It is well known how the Witch has her way of getting what she wants from you. If you are lucky, she might decide to kill you, on other occasions you might be turned into stone... or, if she sees some usefulness in you, she will turn you into her servant. I am one of the unlucky ones. I was... ten years old back when I first came here, if I could describe Narnia back then with a word it would be: breathtaking. The sun appeared to never burn your skin no matter how much time you spent outside, the birds always sang happily and the trees... the trees danced with the wind. It was beautiful and pure and so much more.

I admit, even though the winter is cold, it has this magic about it, magic that no evil can corrupt, deeper than she can reach. My lips turn up involuntarily, that, that single piece of knowledge is what has kept me from going mad all these years. Or maybe I've just gone mad. Who knows?

The rest of the trip was uneventful. However, because I was very far away from the castle when I was "requested", it was dark by the time I arrived. I patiently waited for the colossal doors of ice to open, siting softly on the thin snow over the cold stone floor. When it did, I only stood up and continued my way through the quiet and somber castle. There was little color, other than then distinctive blue of ice and the occasional patch of dirt or uncovered stone. I heard a low growl to my left, behind a column "You're late."

I turned my head to see a gray wolf behind a thick ice pillar, uninterested; I've gotten tired of this "Wherever I arrive on time or late is of no concern of yours, Maugrim." He jumped the steps from where he was hiding; landing with a barely hearable thud "Her Majesty is resting. Her day has been eventful." He turned and started to lead the way, to where I deduced, was where the "guest" was staying. "She is no Queen." I said bluntly. Maugrim stopped and turned his head slightly; looking at me with narrowed and waning eyes "I would be careful if I were you, the Queen is not in her best of days, she will not tolerate any more of your blasphemy." He then kept going forward, not wishing to hear any retort I might give. "Hmph..."

I did not expect to be it the dungeons, but I was not surprised. "Guests" don't live for long.

"There." Maugrim jerked his head.

The so called "guest"... was just a child. A human child. He couldn't be older than ten, his skin was pale, and his body shook from the unforgiving cold. At this rate he won't survive the night.

Maugrim left me to my devices without a second glance. I focused my right ear, tracking the scratchy sound his paws made until there were no more sounds, only the shaky breathing of the frightened child. I observed the child for a while, taking in his appearance. He was poorly dressed for this harsh cold, and his feet were chained to the wall, his eyes were glassy and fearful, and his hair messy. There was a sharp wave of sadness deep in my chest. I felt pity, and the slightest empathy towards him.

I was not sure that he would respond to me, but... "She tricked you?" He looked up, cautious and fearful.

The boy glanced at me and slowly asked "Tricked me?" He frowned "I... I think so... I'm not sure..." He kept quiet for a little "I guess... And you?"

"Yes." He sat straighter but still unsure "How?" I took a deep breath a closed my eyes, the scenes, my actions, words, places, all running under my eyelids. "She promised me she would get me back home." I opened my eyes slowly, forcing myself keep my emotions in check. "Back home? You're not from here?" he asked curious. I shook my head "I liked it here, but I missed my real home." He detached himself from the icy wall and crawled a little closer, making the chain clank. "What did she do to you?" He frowned.

My head fell on my chest "She turned me into a wolf. Because I was human, my body is bigger than a born-wolf's would me. That is why I stand out among the other wolves." He looked at me shocked "You were human?" I nodded. "What did she ask you to do?" he crawled closer.

I sat in silence, contemplating how to explain my actions back then "She said she didn't have any children of her own, that I would be exactly what she pictured her child would be like, and that, eventually, I would be Queen of Narnia." I began. "But under one condition."

"You had to bring your siblings to her castle, to "meet" the Queen." Edmund finished. I nodded. "I have no siblings of my own, but I had other friends who were with me." I explained. "There was a terrible war back home so we were sent to an old friend's house, that way we would be safe. Unfortunately, I cannot recall how exactly I got here, that was a hundred years ago." I paused. "I sometimes wonder why did the idea being Queen of Narnia seduced me. I was trying to get back home, not trying to gain power." His eyes widened with surprise "The Witch's magic has kept me from aging." I clarified. "My body is still that of a ten-year old." I looked at my paw "I guess..."

Edmund started to shake violently, looking around; searching . "If you wish... I could go in and keep you warm for the night. My fur is thick and long enough. Although I can't do much for my armor." Edmund, unsure but too desperate to contemplate fully, nodded. I look at the lock of the narrow gate. I placed my weight on hind legs and push myself high enough to skillfully unlock the gate with my claw. I then proceed to carefully and quietly push the gate wide enough for me to get in. I have long mastered the art of stealth, as any wolf has to do.

I slowly got closer, gauging his reaction. I am, after all, a massive black wolf serving the Witch, not willingly by any means. He observed me, still rubbing his shaking arms. I lay down, and looked at him expectantly, knowing that he was, of course, very and rightfully scared of me. Surprisingly, he did not take all that long before he got closer and leaned cautiously on my shoulder. Possibly unaware, he snuggled onto my fur, searching for warmth I was offering.

It's like I'm experiencing my past, all over again, but from another's point of view. It is truly bizarre.

I was mentally prepared for the long night, I was still supposed to watch him and falling asleep could cause him more harm than good should I be caught. I berated myself, it was reckless and dangerous, not for only myself, but for him. I felt a hand timidly caress the short section of my neck that was not covered by my cold armor "How were you back then? Before she turned you into a wolf." He asked quietly. I hummed "I had lengthy curly brown hair and dark eyes, just like you. My skin had more color compared to yours; I think the correct term would be... creamy. If I had to be specific." I looked at him, his eyes were a little drowsy, and his body screamed exhaustion. But he fought it "What's your name?" I turned my head to the stairs, but gave him a glace when I answered "Julia." His eyes dropped "I'm Edmund..." I leaned a little more to my right side, so he could rest without earning a back pain in the morning. "Rest. Before the Witch comes I'll wake you up." His breathing became deeper and quieter "Promise?"

"Promise."

I look forward and raise a challenging eyebrow at the look Tumnus sent my way. I had no words to defend or explain my actions. He asked for none of the kind, with his eyes he sent the message loud and clear. I hope your actions come from genuine benevolence of your heart. For the sake of all of us, keep him safe.It was not my decision to make, I had no right to protect when my only purpose is to destroy, but this once, just this once, I will do all I can to help him.

I have a debt to pay.