Chapter 9: Did You Mean It?

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"We can't do this."

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The following few days were miserable. Severus had you brewing potions left and right with hardly any time for rest. You found yourself ravenous at the end of every day, as you hadn't been lucky enough to get lunch. He had been especially cold and harsh, with absolutely no grace for even the smallest mistakes. It saddened you, made you feel angry and resentful, all at once. You had thought that maybe you were starting to become friends. If not friends, then acquaintances. And then it all came tumbling down.

You were almost certain it had to do with the incident in his shower. He had to have been acting out of embarrassment, and, although it was embarrassing for you as well, you were much more receptive to discussing it than was he. You pondered your disappointment, wondering if it was strictly caused by his poor attitude, or if it was because, deep down, you wanted to repeat the incident.

In person.

You felt silly for even thinking it. He was your professor, your Master, and you his student. It would be unprofessional and a conflict of interest to engage in a relationship of that sort. But you couldn't stop yourself from imagining all the pleasant scenarios of you coming together, feeling each other's skin, hot breaths, open-mouthed kisses. You were feverish for him, and you had hardly even touched platonically. This was something you'd have to learn to grapple with during the coming months.

You thanked your lucky stars that it was Saturday, because you weren't sure you could bear another consecutive session of beration. You planned on taking walks around the grounds, relaxing with a book,  and cuddling Brew on the couch for the entire weekend.

You decided to skip breakfast, partially because you weren't hungry, and partially so you wouldn't have to see Severus. Instead, you dressed in comfortable muggle clothes and grabbed a book, heading for the Black Lake. The walk was refreshing, a gentle breeze tossing tendrils of hair about, blowing away your worries. When you reached the bank, you stomped down a circle of grass, much like Brew bedding down on your pillow. Once satisfied, you sat and let the foliage tickle your denim-clad legs. You cracked open your book and flipped it to the first page. It was fiction, for once, and you were beyond grateful to escape into the story.

You weren't sure how long you had sat reading, but when you reached the fifteenth chapter, you heard a rustling nearing you. Looking up, you had expected to find a small creature traversing through the grass, but instead found a tall, brooding entity stepping carefully toward you. Your heart leaped at first, then promptly sank deep beneath your ribs when you recognized the person. Of course, it had to be Severus, on a day you were deliberately trying to ignore him.

He was the first to smile, a small grin, barely noticeable. You were almost startled when he crouched and slowly lowered himself to the ground beside you. As usual, you weren't sure what to say.

"Hello," he spoke quietly, his voice almost brushed away in the wind.

You returned the smile, wider than you intended. The deep bass of his voice resounded in your skull.

"Hi," you replied. Your stomach twisted into knots as you waited to discover what brought him to you on a Saturday.

"Reading?" he asked, gesturing toward your book.

You nodded. "Always," you said, "but it's not potions for once."

He chuckled slightly. Then, his smile faded. It was silent for a few moments, save for the subtle sound of tiny life surrounding you.

"I'm sorry," he said, looking pained.

You answered, "For what?"

"For the way I've treated you this week. It was not my intention to start you off like this, to conduct myself in this manner at all." he said, his head hung in shame.

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