Precarious (Severus Snape x Reader)

Chapter 15: This is Torture

"Are we more than friends?"

-

You had no intentions of speaking with anyone in the castle after what had transpired between Minerva, Albus, and yourself. You were beyond embarrassed, and didn't have the guts to potentially encounter and speak to passersby in the corridors. Instead of enjoying your lazy Sunday afternoon, you spent it holed up in your quarters, toiling over how you would handle the following day. You were almost certain that Severus had talked to Albus about your situation, otherwise Albus wouldn't have come to Minerva about the two of you. A twinge of excitement passed through you after acknowledging that Severus must have felt so passionate that he had to talk to someone as well, like you had. Unfortunately, your "someones" just happened to be best friends.

You pondered what Albus had said about Severus, that he was fearful of love, ridden with anxiety at the thought. Your heart wept a bit at the recollection, feeling dejected that Severus was so hesitant to give and receive love. Although, you noted, he must feel quite strongly about you to be willing to enjoy such intimate activities together that could easily lead to love.

You cast the thought from your head. I do not love him, you thought. He's just very sexually attractive.

Readying yourself for bed and mentally preparing for tomorrow's lesson, you quickly showered and dressed in your pajamas. You were kissing Brew's head goodnight when not one, but two letters came flying beneath the crack of your door. You figured you knew who one of them was from, and, upon opening it, you found a familiar angled scrawl.

Meet me in the lower west corridor at eight o'clock in the morning. I'd like to get coffee with you before class.

Sleep well,

Severus

You felt your insides start to quiver at his note. It was so sweet and kind, and you were ecstatic that he had initiated a meeting outside of educational hours. His presumed feelings toward you were infinitely reinforced. You opened the second letter less enthusiastically. From the neat, pretty handwriting, you could deduce that it was from Minerva.

I'm sorry about this afternoon, dear. I know you heard our discussion, and I hope we shed enough light on the situation for you to follow your heart. Severus is a good man. Trust me when I say he adores you.

Write or visit me if you need anything at all.

Minnie

You didn't realize you were crying until you witnessed a single tear fall onto the parchment, causing the ink to bleed. All of the emotions wracked you simultaneously. Your heart and mind were playing tug of war over whether or not to pursue Severus, to actually engage in a relationship with him. A relationship. Your heart said yes, absolutely fucking yes, but inside your head, you were terrified of rejection and heartbreak. You simply didn't want to experience this kind of pain. After thrashing about in bed for hours, you finally allowed your heart to win.

-

You were giddy when you awoke the next morning, because it was a new opportunity to spend extra time with Severus. Although guarded, you began to feel better about growing closer to him the longer you considered it. Having Minnie and Albus' approval helped tremendously, because it increased your confidence that Severus wasn't dangerous or trying to take advantage of you. It was only seven-thirty when you departed your quarters, but you were physically unable to wait any longer to see him. You were confident that he would be early as well.

He was staring out the window again when you found him. Your hands began to tremble and your heart thudded loudly within your ribcage. You were shocked to find him without robes, only clad in a black button down shirt and matching slacks. Your sympathetic nervous system overran your body with anxiety, and, you hated to admit, arousal, at the sight of him dressed in so little. You smiled widely when he met your forward gaze.