Life's Instruction Book

Prologue

" The way how life unfolds is truly a mystery. A caged bird, unable to move on from the past. The horrors that yesterday brought change to one's life forever. However, eternity is nothing but an illusion. The world is not a prison, but a dangerous forest full of wanders. "

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   Born in a Ducal House, I was made into a perfect young lady. Although my mother always regretted that I was not born a male, and my father never really cared about me. As a young child, I always thought that maybe if I make an effort, I'll be recognized. Maybe if I just follow as they said I'll be loved.

   " Young lady, the duchess told you to hurry. " the servant came in to deliver a message.

   That day, if I didn't requested that dress, if the celebration was on another day. Maybe, if I wasn't me maybe all of those didn't happen.

   " Do you think you'll survive just because you're a noble? " 

   " You have seen what needs to be unnoticed, so you'll have to die. "

   " If only you were born a male, maybe... he would look at us... maybe we can be a real family...maybe we wouldn't end up like this..."

   An unfateful event made my family and life miserable. People looked at me with judgement, judging my every word, every move and every look. My whole body was tangled with the threads of society.

  The fear slowly devoured the hopeful days that I wished to come. I let out the voice of a thousand sirens yet no one heard me. 

  Was it my fault? Or did I reached for a wrong hand?

  " Try your best to stay in your quarters and avoid roaming around, I wouldn't want Leora to meet you. "

   He was the only one I have yet he is also someone that can never accept me.

   A person appeared, as if reality was trying to tell me how I can never have those things that naturally came to her.

  Like a bright sun, shining up the world. Everytime she's around, people can't help but love her. She is the epitome of gifted, the child of God. 

  The term "love at first sight" might be some overused cliché but, to someone as her who looks like a renaissance painting came into life, the radiant smile that would blow away your cloudy days. Naturally, people kept her like a precious gem in their hearts.

  " I'm busy he said, but look at him enjoying the best of his time with her. "

   I was part of the family and yet, I never felt like I was one.

  " Why do you keep on directing my life? Why do I always have to obey?! "

  Those words, as if they were calling for me. Ended the life that I had in an instant.

" Don't look back. "