Sorry sister

+ s i x

Today, exactly at the same time as yesterday, the sunglasses-boy enters the the cafe. When I notice him I feel my heart stopping for a second. I don't know why, but he makes me feel... weird. I mean, I don't know how to act around him: one moment he's friendly and chatty, the moment after that he is silent and just makes a hole in your mind with those icy blue eyes.
It's kinda creepy, actually.
I shrug when his gaze points at me. He slightly shakes his head in my direction as a greeting. I shake my head back and silently stare at him. Why is he here, again?

"You know you also have to go to him and not just having a staring contest, right?" Paul says, holding a tray and walking past me. I glare at him, though he can't see me because I can see just his back.

I take a deep breath, telling myself that I am just making things more dramatic than how they really are. I am the freak here, not that guy with blue jeans and a gray t-shirt sitting at table number three.

I slowly walk towards him and give him a friendly look.

"Hello," I say, my voice sounding 'happier' than yesterday. "Can i take your order?"

"I think I'll have... The club sandwich– 'cause I'm pretty hungry –and some still water," he says, finishing with with a smile.

I write the order down and then look at him. Today he's not wearing sunglasses and his blue glance twisted with the grey of my eyes is literally freaking me out.

"Okay. Coming in a sec," I quickly say and start walking away. I admit it: I can't hold up the eye contact with that guy.

It is the first time it happens to me. Never, in my entire life, I have had any difficulty in looking people in the eyes. I am usually the one who makes people uncomfortable. I definitely don't like it the other way round.

I hear a "Thanks" coming from behind me.

I reach up to the counter and tell Jeremy the order, raising up a hand to touch my hair but I can't reach them because they're tied back up and this makes me even more tensed. It's weird I've never noticed that before, but I always run a hand through my hair when I am agitated or something similar.
I just rest my hand on the counter.

"A club sandwich and a bottle of water for table number three," I breathe out all at ones.

"Hey, what happened? He tried to eat you instead of the sandwich?"

"I've already told you: that guy is weird," I try to justify myself, while I am actually the one who freaks out for no reason.

It's so strange how I can't look directly into his eyes without getting 'shocked' in some ways. I don't even know how to understand if it is something positive or negative. It just scares me, so much.

"Man, you have to calm down. He's just a normal British boy, like me, like Paul, like you and like every other single guy who lives in London."

I just nod at his words, but I feel a strange sensation growing into my stomach, as if it is being eaten away by an unknown emotion.
I look at the guy again. He's checking his phone, same gesture of yesterday. He runs a hand through his hazel brown hair, while he frowns at the phone and then lets out a big breath; I think something went wrong.

"Xavier?!" I hear Jeremy saying.

"What?" I quickly answer as I come out of a trance.

"Are you here with us? Bring this to table number three."

"Can't Paul do this?"

I look at Paul from behind my shoulder. He's busy at table number five, where a couple of girls are eating. He's clearly trying to get one of their phone's number them.

"I don't think so, man," Jeremy says, chuckling. "Com'on, don't be a pussy."

I glare at him, and grab the bottle from his hands, mentally telling him to go fuck himself.

"Here's the water," I say to the sunglasses-guy-that-today-doesn't-wear-sunglasses.

"Thank- shit why?" he seems angry or something. I hope I didn't do anything wrong. I mean, he's a costumer.

"What's the matter? Is something wrong?"

"No, it's all right, thank you. It's just... can we sister-exchange, please?"

"Ehm... Excuse me?"

"Because mine makes me feel sick, really."

Here he is: talking to me about his problems, again.

"Sorry, I wouldn't like to exchange sister," I answer chuckling and a little dumbfounded.

He chuckles as well and put the phone away, back in his pocket.

"Yes, I didn't really mean it. I wouldn't neither."

He smiles and by how his face relaxes at the thought of his sister I smile as well.
Then his eyes grow wide and he looks at me.

"Sorry, I did it again," he says all of a sudden and then face-palms himself, with an embarrassed smile playing on his lips.

Okay, now I am really confused. This guy changes mood every two seconds, I cannot keep up with this continuous switching.

"What?" I ask, my eyes narrowed.

"I am telling you all my business, again. I know you hate it, who wouldn't?"

"No, it's fine," I try to assure him but we both know he's right.

He looks up at me and when his eyes meet mine my stomach forms another knot and I furiously gulp.

"No, it's not fine. I'm sorry. I know it's not the best thing ever for to listen to a freak who talks about his problems while you're trying to do your."

I am almost going to say that, yes, he actually is a freak and that, yes, I actually don't care about his sister and everything; but I force a polite smile to assure him that it doesn't matter and then say "Listen, it's all right," but I don't sound very genuine, so I stop to clear my throat and finish my sentence by saying "really."

He smiles at me, embarrassed. After that, I come back to the counter.
Miss Lils comes towards me and tells me I can have a break, that today I seem more focused than usual and other good stuff that I don't listen to. I keep nodding, with a blank expression and when I realise she's gone, I go to the back of the kitchen. I sit down on a stool and sit with my back leaned against the wall behind me. As I do it, I relax and let out a deep breath that I didn't even know I was holding back.