The Ink That Haunts Us

Chapter Twenty-Six

It had been two days since I returned from Washington. Two whole days and no sign of June. It worried me that she had been absent for so long. It wasn't like her to up and disappear. She always kept in touch with her friends, and so much has happened since we last spoke. Deep down, I could feel something was really wrong. We had to find her.

    Freya had collected me early in the morning on Saturday. The plan was to drive the three hours to June's parents house and show up unannounced. The night before, I tried numerous times to get in contact with June, but was unable to reach her. A surprise visit was our last option.

    It felt so odd being back in Colorado and not having to worry constantly or look over my shoulder. I had lived in paranoia for so long I was finding it hard to let go. Last year when June and I had visited Kentucky with Freya, I constantly worried Declan would somehow track me through the airlines or something. It was ridiculous and made me feel like a crazy person.

    "You okay?" Freya was looking at me from the corner of her eye. I could see the concern before she could mask it.

    "Truth?" I asked, and she nodded.

    "Of course."

    "No," I sighed. "I am far from okay. It's going to take a really long time before I feel that."

    She took one hand off the steering wheel, reaching over to take my hand into hers.

    "I am so sorry you went through all of that. I can't even begin to imagine the damage it caused, not just on the outside, but the inside too." She had no idea how right she was. I had just started to feel whole by the time I had met Freya. So much more had happened this time, I knew I had a longer journey ahead of me.

    "The worst part is how it feels like he's still watching me. Like if I'm not careful he will find me again. I thought because he was dead, I would feel liberated or relieved from of all the paranoia, but I feel anything but those things. Even in death he haunts me." Tears streaked down Freya's face, but she didn't make one sound or take her eyes from the road. She worked to control her emotions, and get herself in check before she spoke.

    "What I went through with Alex, I know it doesn't begin to brush the surface of what you went through with Declan, but I get the fear, the paranoia. There are still times when I swear I glimpse him in a crowd of people or when I'm alone, I feel like someone is watching me. There are days when I can't be in the apartment alone unless all the lights are on." The fear and pain in her voice pained me. I never wanted her or anyone else to feel how I was feeling. It was no way to live.

    "I'm so sorry, Freya. Given everything I've been through, I should have seen what kind of person Alex was. I should have protected you from him." The guilt I still felt burned me deep. I wasn't sure I would ever get rid of it.

    "Don't," she said, angry now. "Don't you dare apologize to me or feel any ounce of guilt for what happened to me. Not after everything you have been through in your life. You are not at fault for what happened to me nor are you at fault for what happened to you."

    I opened my mouth to argue, but was saved when my phone rang. Once glimpse at the screen had me rushing to answer it.

    "June!"

    "Who is this?" Her voice sounded weary and tired.

    "June, it's me, Saw. Freya and I have been trying to reach you!"

    There was a pause, and I had to check to make sure she hadn't hung up.

    "Oh, I'm sorry. I've, uh, had a lot going on with family. I've been meaning to get in touch with Freya." She sounded distracted.