From Day One | JENSOO

Chapter 36

Love is a wild card.

Rosé hadn't told everyone she was leaving, just a select few people. That meant the only two people attending the going away party Sooyoung threw were Rosé and Sooyoung.

It was awfully lame. To add to its lameness, Rosé said the party needed to be during the day because she had "stuff" to do at night. Whatever "stuff" was. She also didn't want Sooyoung spreading word about her departure. Sooyoung didn't know if even Jisoo knew what Rosé was planning. But Sooyoung wouldn't interfere. If Rosé wanted to sever ties then that was her problem.

Sooyoung would play no part in it. She was just going to sit in her room and smoke her weed and keep calm.

The windows were open to let fresh air in and Sooyoung heard the nearby church's bell ring the new hour. As though the sound was some activation, the heel of Sooyoung's foot began to bounce against the floor.

Long ago, when Sooyoung and Rosé first met they established ground rules and one of those rules neither of them had broken was the rule to not meddle. Their friendship persevered through the first few months because of that rule.

Sooyoung learned Rosé was a glorified masochist and it took everything in Sooyoung to not try and reach out to help. She developed a soft spot for Rosé and realized after countless hookups and subsequent breakups, Rosé was not looking for attention, she was not looking for help; she was resilient (maybe a little messed up) but she certainly did not need any saving.

So Sooyoung wasn't going to do it this time either. She wasn't going to save Rosé.

To still her legs since both of her heels had started pounding on the floor like a drum roll, she lied down on her bed and stared at the ceiling. The sun's light illuminated bright rectangles and a bird flew — Sooyoung jumped from the bed, bumping into the table and spilling Rosé's jar of pens and pencils.

"Shit."

She collected all of it and like a manic compulsive she rearranged them by color and height and width and put the jar at the left corner then the right then in the center.

"Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap!"

Sooyoung felt like there was a bomb somewhere in the room and she could hear it ticking but couldn't find it. Jisoo should know and what if she didn't? It was idiocy on Rosé's part, that's what it was. Rosé was being a moron. Definitely. A big bitchy moron.

Peeking through the blinds, Sooyoung saw a group of students on the lawn. They were talking, laughing. They looked happy. They probably didn't have to deal with bitchy morons as friends. None of them looked bitchy or moronic.

Sooyoung clasped her hands on the back of her neck and walked to the door then took a few steps back.

And what about Lisa?

Sooyoung's snarled at the thought of the girl. Then she felt guilty because it wasn't Lisa's fault.

Sooyoung liked Lisa. She really did. Lisa was strong, capable and independent; kind, helpful and overall a good person. But Sooyoung liked Jisoo more.

With Jisoo, Rosé was caught on a confusing border between love and lust, bouncing back and forth between the neighboring feelings and sometimes sitting smack-dab in the middle, right on the line, and all was well. Rosé didn't stick to one spot for long if she ever crossed over completely either. She'd be in lust after spending too much time in love and vice versa.

Rosé could control herself with Jisoo. She knew when too little wasn't enough and when to sit on the sidelines to simply observe. So despite the weeks of depression Rosé suffered after the end of her relationship with Jisoo, Sooyoung never worried. She had complete confidence Rosé would recover, find another plaything as a rebound and return to her old self, bitchiness and sexiness personified.