New Recruit

Hello, Gorgeous (Chapter 38)

*Y/N*

"Did you take me up here to kill me or something? Because honestly, If you just asked I would probably let you. Plus, falling from a tall height isn't really going to do the trick for me."

Nat and Y/N left the tower and headed to an industrial area nearby that didn't have many people around. Leading them up the stairs of an abandoned building, Nat sits on the edge with her legs hanging over the roof. Y/n follows suit and sits down next to Natasha, closing their eyes they listen to the sounds of the city below.

"I wouldn't need to bring you all the way out here to kill you, y/n."

"A person can dream I guess."

"So I take it that things in the tower haven't really been that good for you then?" Nat keeps her body facing forward but you can tell all of her attention is being given to you. With a small sigh you close your eyes and give your head a small shake, trying to gather your feelings.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for everything you all have done for me. I mean my room in the tower is bigger than my entire apartment was. I get to learn new fighting techniques and other useful skills. I have genuinely appreciated this chance I'm being given. It's just – I've always wanted to be good and do good, whatever that meant and however that looked. It just doesn't seem like I am doing that here. I mean come on, I've dented a wall, caused fights, got Wanda shot with a chemical because I couldn't protect her, gotten in the way of whatever is happening with Kate and Yelena.. Damn I am even getting in the way of whatever Wanda has going on with Vision. And I'm sure at this point your hand is bruised from needing to hit me in the back of the head so much for being an idiot. I just don't know why I am here."

You finish your small ramble and take a deep breath. Just like Yelena, you know Nat isn't one to express or show much emotion so you don't really expect her to give you a big emotional speech, but it doesn't stop you from still wanting her to be honest with you.

I should probably just jump.

Not in a death wish sort of way, just in a 'I need to again get the hell out of here because I don't know how to shut up' kind of way.

"Don't fucking jump y/n. I see you slightly leaning forward."

"Sorry."

Nat lets out a small sigh but keeps her eyes forward. She moves her hand and places it on top of yours, leaving it there for a few seconds before she says anything.

"You make people better."

"What?"

"You said you don't think you are doing any good here, but you are. You make people better and you don't even realize it. You're the most sincere person I have ever been around, and you do it so unapologetically. You being yourself makes all of us try to be better, to be more ourselves. Somehow you can even get Steve to lighten up and be less serious. I know you have some complications when it comes to Wanda and Yelena but those two, they may have growing pains right now but it's because you are helping them be the versions of themselves that I think they always wanted to be but never thought they deserved."

Flipping your hand that is still underneath Nat's, you move it so your palm faces upward allowing you to interlock your fingers with hers. To your surprise she doesn't retreat her hand but loosely interlocks her fingers with yours.

"And you? Do you feel more like yourself?"

"In moments, yes."

You pause for a second, "Is this one of those moments?". You keep your eyes forward, knowing that adding your attention to Nat will only make it harder for her to lean into the conversation and the moment.