Note: some parts might be sad or hint at something so if you don't like that then don't read it please. All of them are funny in a way though, I gurantee that.
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Dog: *wagging tail* what does this do?
God: makes people happy
Dog:*tilts head* and this?
God: oh they love that!
Dog: do i do anything that makes people sad?
God:
Dog:
God: I'll tell you when you come back
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Just had to explain to the kid I'm babysitting that the chicken animal is the same as chicken food, and I thought she was going to cry. Instead she's chanting "tweet tweet, eat the bird" while shoveling Mcdonald's nuggets in her mouth X_X
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How can we recognize if something's strawberry scented if strawberries don't have a smell?
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If you're bored you can simply close your eyes and rotate a cow on a spit in your mind. It's free and the cops won't stop you
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Eating is crazy. You put food in a cavity where you smash it with 32 bones then a meat tentacle pulls it into a pool of acid.
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Gf: Ugh, here comes Henry from work.
Bf: Which one is he again?
Gf: The guy that says things , and you can never tell if it's a compliment or an insult..
Henry: Well well well, someone smells like muffin mix
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One day I was cleaning tables out on the patio (at a restaraunt I work at) when I noticed these two men had spread those flakes of Parmesan cheese all over their table. I went over and asked in a fake sweet voice "Can I clean that up for you?"
They shifted awkwardly and one goes; "This is...for mosquito?"
"No, this is cheese."
They turned to one another and yell "IT IS CHEESE!"
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And that's the end! I'll try to make u some more scenarios or fun facts, but thanks for reading and have a GRATE day!
