At school a boy named...uh...Kaiden was told that all adults have at least one dark secret, so you can blackmail them by saying "I know the whole truth." So he decides to try it out at home.
When his mother opens the door for him he automatically says" I know the whole truth." She immediately takes out $20 and says "Just don't tell your father."
When his father comes home he does the same thing, and gets $30 and another "Just don't tell your mother."
Giddy with excitement, when he goes outside the next day and sees the milk man, he says "I know the whole truth."
The milk man immediately drops the jugs to the ground, opens his arms and says, "Then come give your real father a hug."
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Stressed is Desserts spelled backwards.
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The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear. Any cup-shaped object placed over the ear produces the same effect. I don't even hear anything, that's weird ash.
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Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.
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The elephant is the only animal with 4 knees.
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SOMEBODY. SOMEBODY TELL ME THIS IS NOT TRUE....PLEASE I BEG YOU
Most people fall asleep in seven minutes.
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An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son and says "I hate to ruin your day, but your mother and I are getting divorced. It's already been enough with 45 years of misery."
The son asks him, "But Pop why?!"
"We get sick of just looking at eachother, and I'm sick of talking about this, call your sister in Colorado and let her know." Then he hung up.
The sister exploded on the phone. "They're getting divorced! Not if I can do anything about this! Let me take care of it."
She then called her father in Phoenix and yelled "YOU ARE NOT GETTING DIVORCED! BE READY BECAUSE WE ARE COMING OVER THERE TOMMORROW!" At the poor old man.
The old man turns to his wife and says, "They're coming for Thanksgiving, but what do we say for Christmas?"
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If you have any ideas, just comment them and I'll give you credit! Please, my brain's tired...
