Lover Girl

My love

My stomach was extremely swollen. I was eight months pregnant and everything was exhausting. Especially with a million mile an hour MillieFlorence. I wish Jay would take her more I was willing for him to move in, however I didn't want to ask. I would much rather suffer in silence. Kelly was over all the time taking some pressure off but I didn't like relying on him.

I walk into the the district puffing and rubbing my belly. "Are you ok" Trudy asks seeing me lean on the desk "oh yeah peachy" I sigh standing up "this pregnancy is kicking my butt but brought them food" "we don't want daddy or grandpa hungry" MillieFlorence said smiling gleefully "let me take her you go rest chasing after her isn't doing you any good" I sigh "don't you dare say no hey Millie want to help me today" "i boss people around to" MillieFlorence asks looking at me "please mummy please" "fine" I sigh "you call me if you need me to pick her up" "or I could just dump her on her father" Trudy shrugged as MillieFlorence excited running around the desk. "Bye bye baby you be good for aunt Trudy" I tell her she sits on the desk, leaning forward hugging me. I kiss her head before waving and walking out. Don't think to I'm wired to rest.

I sat in my living room, I was in my own world reading my new book. I had brought a bunch of books recently on just about everything. I had brought them for after the birth to help me relax. But I apparently needed them now, I'll just have to buy more now. I sip my peppermint tea turning the page I was currently reading about drugs and things that show up in toxicology reports, or don't show up. My stomach wasn't the best. Baby was doing flips making me sick. I was also exhausted I hadn't been sleeping. MillieFlorence had been amazing but she's four so she doesn't always understand that mummy can't run around and play like normal. Jay has been amazing but as I said before there is room for improvement. He had been taking her out though. Last week they went to the kids museum which Jay told me she educated him about everything there. I knew he was struggling with the fact I was pregnant. A blind person could see it. I wanted more than anything to make it better for him, but unfortunately this is something I can't change. I know that's why he started to keep his distance. Truth be told it just made my heart hurt. I wanted to see him, laugh with him. I can't force that and I'd much prefer to know now if he can't handle it. It would break my heart but it was better to know now. Man between him and this active baby I have been crying non stop. Everything was different with this pregnancy. I had people telling me it's because it's a boy but I don't know, neither do they really. Sighing I get up finishing my tea and grabbing my things.

I knock on the door rubbing my stomach feeling baby so another flip. "Delilah" I smile at the confused woman "I sorry but I'm busting for a wee" i barge in rushing her and into the bathroom. Walking out after doing my business I smile "sorry I came to see how you were I was bored and tired and figured why not keep you company" she weakly smiles. She had been through hell and yet she's smiling at me. "I have to say no one ever imagined Hank with a girl much less a granddaughter and another grandchild on the way" "a highly active baby at that think this one is trying to compete with his big sister" she smiles leading me into the living room. "Lexi was the same" she said before pausing as if the realisation hit her again. I would hate to live in that in between constantly remembering my daughter wasn't here anymore. "I remember this being my hide away from my crazy family after mum. I could come here and pretend she wasn't gone. Lexi would follow me around like a quiet little mouse" "I remember she demanded almost everyday for you to drive her around" "she was my favourite passenger we use to get milkshakes on the way and when it was cold we would get coffee and hot chocolate" "that's why she wanted to go with you" "what can I say I'm favourite cousin for a reason" "I remember your brother being so but hurt that she liked you more how is he" "his good although I haven't spoken in a while both been busy with our families" she nods "we're all proud of him...how are you" "I came all this way to ask you that" I said she weakly smiles "your taking the pain away even if it's brief or maybe the better term is subsiding the pain" "I'm good life's complicated pregnant to my best friend in love with someone else. Exhausting baby is keeping me awake and well I can barely keep up with Moon" "Al said you have been sick" "think that might be an understatement sick, baby is kicking hard Moon loves it she puts her head on my stomach and encourages it. Baby also been flipping or that's what it feels like. It's been hard though to say the least" "if you need anything" "hey if you want to come over everyday and distract my wild four year old that no question she's Jays child to a tea with my smart brain" she laughs. I could see the look in her eye, I had no doubt she would show up. I wasn't going to stop her either.  "Where is your wild child" "aunt Trudy stole her" she laughs "you need rest tell Jay to take her" "it's fine" "no your going to end up in hospital you need rest do you want me to tell him" I laugh oh that's a funny image of her going off on Jay for not taking his daughter. What makes it funnier is that he doesn't know her, so it would just be this random lady demanding he takes his daughter.