His Smirk ||

12: Why?

                              --Special thanks to karmah5 for her amazing editing skills--

For votes I will not threaten, for comments I do not beg. But if you don't leave your opinions, I may just break your leg. 

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-- Kale’s POV –

As Spencer hoisted another bag of footballs onto the shelf I stopped what I was doing and leaned against the row of pure white lockers. “Where is everyone else?”

“They’re at Jakeson’s,” he responded, his back still to me even though he’d finish tucking away the balls. Jakeson’s? It’s not even movie night. Just as I was about to ask ‘why” he added, “Rein’s making dinner.”

My teeth gritted and I crossed my arms, pulling them loosely against my sturdy chest. “Shouldn’t that be more of a reason to run for the hills?” I asked, my voice bordering on malice. I knew Rein was a perfectly capable cook. I couldn’t even begin to count how many times I’d woken up to a breakfast in bed prepared by her.

But what I knew of her didn’t matter anymore. Neither did what I felt. It’s her fault. I tried to soothe myself as my hands clenched on their own, balling into fists. It’s all her fault.

“What are you going to do about this?”

I turned my eyes from the bench I’d beenglaring at without realizing it to meet his. “About what?” I snapped, unsure if I’d missed a part of the conversation.

Spencer looked at me, his eyes strict as he said, “About this mess with Rein.”

Just her name made me tense up. “What about her?” I asked.

“I know what you’re doing Kale. I know you just as well as I know her.”

“I’m not doing anything,” I responded angrily. “I’m not the one prancing around with tons of guys. I’m not the one who cheated. I didn’t-“

“Kale,” Spencer cut me off, his eyes narrowing as he stepped away from the shelves, “I’m not going to let you talk like that about her.”

Who does he think he is? I followed suit, stepping up to him, releasing my hands from where they’d been crossed by my chest and instead lowering my balled fists to my sides. “What are you going to do about it? Punch me again?” I taunted.

I wanted him to punch me. I wanted him to full out deck me again. Not because I knew I could take it. Not because I knew that I could beat him in a fight. No, because that’s always did when I got defensive. I had to fight. It was in my wiring. Even with Rein I’d been like that.

“If I have to,” he answered, stepping away from me to busy his hands with picking up a stack of fresh towels. “But that’s not what I’m trying to do here. I’m trying to help.”

I scoffed, watching him as he started to put away the white cotton towels. “I don’t need any help with anything.”

“Really?” he asked his back still to me.

I didn’t even feel it a question worthy of a response. Whether it was because I knew the answer was no, or if it was because I just didn’t want to admit it I wasn’t sure. But it didn’t matter anyways. I was Kale. I didn’t have problems. I just moved on if there was ever any trouble. That or I’d pull some strings and get out of it. But with Rein there were no strings to pull. There was no magic door I could open that she’d be behind and everything would be back to the way it was.

I couldn’t hurt her again.

Even with all of my excuses I knew that was the one truth. The only honest conclusion I’d come to after I’d gone and ruined everything like I always was doing. I was self destructive. I’d always known that. And, it had never mattered before Rein. I always knew how to fix it when I blew things up.

But it’d been more than just me who’d been hurt by the aftershock.

“Rein is hurt.”

I opened my mouth to respond but didn’t get out more than, “She-“ before Spencer’s cold look cut me short.

“But she is strong. She’ll be able to get through this in her own time. Right now that means staying the hell away from you. If you’re really going to judge her on that then you’re beyond helping.”

I gritted my teeth. I knew he was right. But I was too stubborn to ever admit that. He knew that too. “There are other places she could stay.”

“Where Kale?” he demanded, pushing the locker shut with more force than necessary. It slammed closed, the metal on metal sounds shaking through the locker room. “Where else does she have to go?”

“Why does it have to be Jakeson’s?” I snapped back angrily. “Any normal girl would have gone to a girlfriend’s house.”

Spencer’s face darkened once more, his gaze boring into mine as he extended a finger towards me. “You made sure that wasn’t possible Kale, didn’t you?”

My face paled and I turned away. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t act like you don’t know. You made sure when she got here that no girls would talk to her. You made her off limits.” His tone of voice lowered an octave and I had to busy myself with pushing some pads into a box in order to keep from meeting his eyes. “We all saw what you did. There’s no point in trying to hide it.”

My knuckles tightened so hard that they paled. “What do you want me to do? Apologize?” I asked harshly, turning to him again. “Well I’m not going to.”

“No,” he shot back, “what I want to know is why.” Spencer stepped forward and grabbed some pads from in front of me and shoved them into the box. “We never interfered with whatever plans you had made when she got here. We played by your rules. But now I have to know Kale; why did you do it?”

I stared dead into his eyes as he waited for an answer. Since when does he stand up to me? I wondered, trying desperately to let my mind focus on anything but Rein. She’d been all I’d been able to think about. Every second of every day I wondered where she was, who was she with, was she okay? Was I even okay?

“Well?” he prodded, realizing the distant look in my eyes, “Why did you do it?”

“I don’t know,” I snapped back, pushing past him to leave the locker room. There was no reason for me to have to stay and clean up for the next game when the rest of the team had totally bailed on me for Rein.

But Spencer wasn’t having any of that. His hand tightened on my shoulder, yanking me to a stop. “That’s bullshit and you know it.”

I tore free from his grasp, my heartbeat accelerating as I turned to face him, my face livid. “You don’t know what you’re talking about so I suggest you get off it.”

For a moment he glared at me before finally opening his mouth to speak. “Did you want to make her miserable? Was that it Kale? You wanted her to be all alone in this world?” his voice cut through the air in a low gruff tone as he stepped towards me. “Cut off all ties from everyone so you could watch her suffer?”

“Shut up!” I hissed, my hands curling so hard the little nails I had began to dig into my palms.

“You knew more about her past than any of us. You knew that she’d been through enough. Figured since she had no home life you may as well cut off any chance at a normal school life as well?”

My temper flared as he stepped forward, toe to toe to me. “Don’t-“

“Or maybe you think she’s not worth it? You personally had a vendetta against her and wanted to have her suffer? I bet that’s it right Kale. You wanted to see how hard you could-“ his hands darted forward, pushing me backwards as they connected with my chest, “push her before she would break?”

I snapped. I lunged for him, the little restraint I had leaving all together. My hands grasped tight handfuls of the front of his shirt as I pushed his back against the lockers as hard as I could manage. They shook with an awful sound, items falling within the nearby lockers with how hard his sturdy back slammed into it from my push. “That’s not-“

Once more he cut me off as he stuck his face in mine, growling; “It was fun wasn’t it? Hurting her over and over again? Crushing the little spirit that she had? Did you really hate her that much?”

“I don’t hate her!” I bellowed, shaking him roughly as my heartbeat threatened to burst my eardrums with how madly my heart was pounding. I never wanted to hurt her. I never meant for it to be this way! My mind reeled in panic at his words, that wasn’t why I did what I did!

“Then why cut her off from the rest of the world?” Spencer demanded, his jaw clenched and his eyes burning into mine.

“I didn’t,” I said, my voice cracking in desperation. I really hadn’t meant to. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was keeping her safe by having her only with me-

“You wanted her to be alone!” He responded accusingly.

“I wanted her for myself!” I yelled back, shaking him again, banging his head up against the lockers. I couldn’t take his words anymore. I couldn’t stand hearing someone voice the thoughts that riddled my mind the moment I stopped busying myself with alcohol and girls. “I wanted to be the only one who would make her happy! She was supposed to be mine! No one else’s! She wasn’t supposed to need anyone else!”

Spencer grasped my wrists, shoving my hands off of him. “Bullshit!” he yelled back at me, his voice rising in volume. “Why would you do that?! You’re Kale. You don’t care about anyone.”

“Rein isn’t just anyone!” I growled back, my anger soaring.

“Why not?” he demanded to know.

“Because I love her!” I hissed, the words coming out in a rush. I hadn’t even meant to say them. But there they were. And they hung in the air. Just hung there followed by a silence as I looked angrily away from Spencer.

When my eyes finally turned back to his, my mouth open ready for a snarky remark, they landed on his grinning face. “I know you do,” he said his voice completely controlled as he stepped around me. “I think the problem is you let yourself forget that fact.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You’re so focused on blame you aren’t thinking about what you feel. If you love her you wouldn’t keep hurting her.”

The truth in his words cut deeper knowing that they were coming from a human being and no longer my mind. “She hurt me too,” I admitted, realizing it was too late to care about looking like a man and holding in my feelings.

“You know she didn’t cheat on you.”

“Do I?” I demanded, “Do I really?”

Spencer stared at me for a long moment then shook his head, picking his jacket up from the bench. “She isn’t like that Kale.”

“She did it to Jakeson.”

“You aren’t Jakeson.”

Once more my mouth opened then just hung there a second before I snapped it back shut. Damn right I’m not Jakeson. I thought, trying once more to get my mind off of Rein. But as always it didn’t help. “If I was then I’d be with her right now.”

“Kale,” he groaned, shaking his head, “where else did she have to go?”

“Anywhere else,” I answered, my voice dropping to a whisper. I didn’t like the thought of him with her. How he looked at her. How he talked to her. Everything about him and her together made my blood boil and my spirits sink.

“Would you rather Skylar with her?”

“Fuck no!” I scoffed. “He-“

He cut me off, “What about Frankie?”

“That kid’s had a crush on her since day one and you know it.”

“And Brendon?”

I gritted my teeth. “He’s always hanging all over her,” I said, my voice showing my frustration. How could he think Brendon would be a good person for her to stay with? Those two were too close for my taste.

“Grass?” he prodded.

“She’s so much better than him.”

“Klaers?”

My eyes narrowed to slits. “Do you even need to ask that one?”

“So then who Kale? Who is left?”

“I-“ my voice cut short as I worked through everyone she talked to. “No one.” I said the words as I realized it. “There isn’t anyone else.”

“Except,” he started, slipping his arms into his coat, “except for Jakeson.”

“But he-“

“Loves her,” Spencer finished for me.

I looked away from him. Fucking Jakeson. Just had to fall in love with my girl out of everyone. “Right,” I grumbled.

“Which means he’ll take care of her,” he concluded. “He’ll make sure that she’s happy. He’ll help keep her stable until she’s strong enough to face you.”

“And when will that be?” I asked, my voice wavering. She’ll never talk to me again. Not after what I said, what I did.

“I can’t answer that,” Spencer said his voice finally back to normal. “It will take time.”

“What am I supposed to do in the meantime? Just sit and twiddle my thumbs?”

His eyes locked on mine as he reached for the door. “Either fix things with her or fuck off.” And with that said he left, his words still bouncing around the locker room.

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     Meanwhile-

 Jakeson leaned against the wall, peering around the corner as he watched Rein search for the right spatula. As much as he wished that he could just go in and help her he knew he couldn't. It would ruin everything. No, he had to keep a safe distance. He had to let her heal. It was the only way she'd ever become his again; if he made her come to him. "Soon," he muttered under his breath before pushing off of the wall to rejoin his friends as they waited in the livingroom, all wanting to taste the meal Rein was working on, "soon you'll smile for me again."

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