Traces and Storms

xxxv

   We both stayed in the very same spot where Myungsoo and I talked. He would—from time to time—point at something before a series of fragmented memories would come gushing out of his mouth.

That was where they played catch.

That was where Woobin and Sooyun would have private conversations.

Sunggyu's tone of voice would sound distant every now and then. As if on most days the three of them were together, he would end up as a mere observer.

"Ever read Norwegian Wood?" he began.

"By the Japanese author?" I asked back in reply.

He nodded.

"I skimmed through it before."

"Our relationship was vaguely like that," Sunggyu said. "Two of my friends were dating, and I was the third wheel. But I rarely felt like an outsider whenever we were together."

All of them met at a local show, where Sunggyu was meant to sing while Woobin stayed backstage with Soojung, who was a part of a dance crew. He recalled how Soojung looked so dejected, and Woobin—with his boyish smile and teasing voice—attempted to console the younger one without any plans to relent.

"She was sad because Sooyun couldn't make it to see her perform," Sunggyu nodded away. "When I saw him, I really thought he was cool. It somehow made me want to have an older brother like him, you know?"

He then carried on about seeing Sooyun storm through the doors after the program. Her hair was messy, and she was in her school uniform. It was obvious that she came over in a rush—even her leg had fresh cuts: an indication that she met a minor accident along the way.

"At that time, Woobin and Sooyun started on the wrong foot," he said. "He scolded her for not being around when Soojung needed her, and she questioned him about his rights to meddle with their relationship as sisters.

"Soojung stayed quiet—she had always been a quiet kid—but her cheeks were so red from embarrassment. That was when I decided to be the referee and break off the fight. I ended up getting punched in the face, though."

My eyes widened. "Woobin punched you?"

Sunggyu laughed. "The both of them did. They told me to 'shut the hell up' in perfect unison before landing a blow on me. It was painful, but now, I find it hilarious."

He pressed his thumb and middle finger against his cheeks. "That's how I got my golden implants. And that's how we became friends."

Sunggyu spoke, and I listened. He didn't narrate his story in a chronological manner. Certain words and situations would pull a trigger in his mind, causing memories to branch out from one point to another.

"Sooyun had always been the most rebellious among us," he said. "She was intelligent and vocal about her opinions. In a way, she scared me. I adored her for being a fighter, but sometimes, her actions made me wonder."

Sunggyu then confessed that his judgment was clouded by his affection for Sooyun.

"I was quite immature," he rubbed the back of his neck. "Back then, I thought you showed your love to people by being agreeable towards them. I think I fancied Sooyun, but I didn't do anything about my feelings, because Woobin was there, and I know who Sooyun liked."

Despite my hesitation, I asked why she liked Sooyun, and why he decided to refrain from pursuing his romantic feelings. They were invasive questions, but Sunggyu didn't seem to mind. It felt like he wanted to let everything out after keeping it hidden for such a long time.