Chapter 23: Paint It Black

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Side A: Mitzi

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Side A: Mitzi

I stand at the entrance to the cafeteria, unsure of what to do.

I could go and sit with Shawna, Casey, and Elsie and pretend like nothing happened. Shawna never answered any of my texts yesterday, my litany of apologies I sent on the car ride home, dripping in puke. After my talk with Mom, I spent most of yesterday in my workshop, trying to fix Oz's amp. He sure did a number on it. The dented-in part looks like he kicked it clear across the room.

From across the cafeteria, I can see Shawna has made certain that there are no empty seats at our usual table.

I contemplate my other options.

Well, Oz and I are apparently friends now, or at least in a working relationship. The band table is full, too. Oz sees me and lifts his chin a little, acknowledging me. Still, there's no place to sit, not even at the tables around him.

I suppose I could sit with Cameron. I actually start looking around for him when I remember how we were supposed to meet up on Sunday morning and then I was late because I had the amp and I had to lug it back home before I could ride all the way there. I texted him saying I would be late and his response was Don't bother.

So that's out. Tutoring after school today should be great.

Last resort: Reece. He's still sitting at a table by himself, his headphones on. It's depressing to think that I almost did it. I almost had friends. And now, I'm right back to where I started.

Maybe not totally back to where I started. That first day, I ate lunch by myself. That's still an option, I suppose.

"Hi," I say to Reece, plunking myself down.

His head snaps up, and he pulls the earpiece away from his head. "What?"

"I just said, hi."

"Oh."

The earpiece slaps back on his head, and he continues doing what he was doing before I sat down: using two pencils to tap out a rhythm against the table, a Tupperware container, and a can of Coke.

I sigh and pull out my lunch, and start to make a list in my head.

Good Things About Not Being Friends With Shawna

1. I don't have to eat this organic garbage anymore.

2. I don't have to straighten my hair every morning, or care about what I wear to school.

3. I don't have to waste time trying to participate in the massive group text. Somehow there were always fifteen new messages, even if I had just checked.

4. Worrying about going to a party? Not anymore.

5. Worrying about what people will think about me liking to fix stuff? A thing of the past.

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