Flip Side of Love

Chapter 25

"Are you ready?" Nicky asked Christopher as she watched him tie his tie.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Christopher sighed out, hand shaking as he wrestled his tie. Turning to look at Nicky he asked, "How do I look?"

"Like a million bucks."

"I'm such a narcissist."

"Don't you know it," Nicky winked, a smirk lighting up her features. The atmosphere around them was sombre, Christopher tittering around the inevitable end. They were in the master bedroom of the house with Christopher finishing off getting ready for the gathering that was about to ensue. He was adorned in a dress shirt, some slacks and a tie, all different shades of black. His hair was a mess making his ensemble not too formal, and upon further inspection he found his tie to be wonky.

"Did you really not get what I was alluding to when I asked if you were ready, or are you just being stubborn?" Nicky asked him softly, causing Christopher to pause momentarily.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean are you ready to let go, to say goodbye, to accept?" Nicky asked him seriously. "I'm serious Christopher, I won't be here much longer, this is your last chance. I mean, I'm sure you've noticed I've been popping up less and less." Nicky continued once she saw that Christopher was not going to give her answer.

"Don't you think I know that? Look, the memorial doesn't start for another two hours okay. Besides, you're still here so that's gotta count for something doesn't it?" Christopher rushed out, looking at Nicky, desperately pleading with her to see his point through the emotion swirling in his eyes.

"You're avoiding it." Nicky told him. "You're scared Christopher and that's okay, but you need to remember the reason why you're having this gathering in the first place. This night will be for nothing if you keep avoiding the main issue."

"I know why I'm having this gathering," Christopher sighed out in defeat, Nicky's soft tone getting to him. He tugged at his tie frustrated, until he decided to go without one.

"You should have learnt from me whilst you had the chance. What are you gonna do when you have an important work meeting?" Nicky tried to lighten the mood, knowing her point had sunk in.

"I'm just gonna wear a black one that you've already tied." Christopher laughed with a shake of his head.

"I'm not real, you know. I'm not a ghost or whatever. I'm just a last ditch effort from your brain, to reel you back from the brink of madness. Though if you think about it, you've already reached the point of madness once you start seeing things."

"I know you're not real. I've known that the whole time."

"Then you should have known that at some point I would disappear. You know, once your brain deemed you strong enough to deal with all the emotional trauma you've been through. Damn October the 27th am I right?"

"It's been a year you'd think I would have dealt with the emotional trauma by now."

"Except you hadn't had you? You bottled everything up, and as soon as July hit, you got triggered and started spiralling. Finally your brain said enough is enough and decided to protect itself by giving you the one thing you needed most."

"You?"

"No, not me... It forced you to grieve."