Silence to the Surface

Doing the right thing

The day had never been so long, I slowly strolled to my classes trying to focus, trying to concentrate, but every time I tried to think about anything else, Mr. Rosenburghs face fell into my mind. I saw Denise many times, in the halls, in the bathrooms, in my classes, during lunch. And the crazy thing is, she looked normal. Great actually, smiling, happy, laughing, giddy. And nobody suspected anything was wrong. I wonder what she was really thinking, what she wanted to say but couldn't. I wanted to talk to her, to ask her if she was ok, to hug her. But then I wouldn't be taking my own advice. I felt guilt swarm me the more I thought about not saying anything.

Was I doing the wrong thing or were my instincts right? Should we tell someone? Right now? Should we go to the cops? Ask Denise herself about it?

For once in my life, I had no idea what the answer to this problem was.

When the final bell rang, I waited on the curb for my mother as usual. When her red Toyota pulled up I jumped in and didn't say anything.

"How was your day?" she asked, pulling out of the driveway.

My mind blanked for a second as my eyes found Jaden with his group. Five or six boys crowded him on top of a cheap looking car, with smoke in their mouths and beanies covering their greasy hair. He didn't see me, but I saw him. He looked so distracted, like he was trying so hard to be himself while covering something. Well, he was covering something and I knew exactly what it was. He definitely was going on with his life but wasn't acting normal. He stared at his feet instead of the people coming up to talk to him. Sucking hard on his cigarette he looked dead behind the eyes. I wish I could go up and talk to him, hug him, but I had to act normal.

My mind returned to my mother's voice saying, "Ena, did you hear me? How was your day?"

A druggie and I watched a classmate of ours get sexually assaulted by my favorite teacher and we didn't say anything to anyone or do anything to stop it. How was your day mom?

"Eh, you know, normal."

"Anything, new happen?" she said hopefully. I tried to reach for something, anything to tell her so that she would leave me alone to my own thoughts. Then I got it.

"Uh actually, yeah."

"Oh yeah?"

"There's a party that I got invited to tomorrow night, uh, Jess asked me to go with her." I could feel the disapproval radiating off of my mother. "So, you know..."

"Who's throwing this party?"

I was going to say Jaden, but I didn't. "Oh, I don't know, some rich kid from my school. It's a small party, you know, totally safe."

My mother was quiet as she pulled onto our exit. Her mouth was a tight puckered bow. "Is there going to be alcohol or drugs?"

I chose my words carefully. "I don't know, maybe. I've never been to one of these before."

"You aren't going to go though, right? You have shifts at the library on Fridays, remember?"

I should've been happy with having a real excuse to not go to this party tomorrow, but then why did I feel a lump of disappointment in my throat?

"Uh yeah, of course not, I just... you know, thought I'd tell you." We were silent the rest of the drive home. 

Now, having a perfect reason to not go to this party, I felt worse than before, but why? I spent the whole day shitting on this thing and the people going, now I don't have to go, but then why do I feel like my whole world fell apart? As I am twirling my dinner onto my fork I cannot stop thinking about, Denise. Mr. Rosenburgh, her hair, him grabbing her arm, the tears in her eyes, all of it. The scene playing over and over again, it feels like the story is on the roof of my mouth and is ready to come crashing down to the floor.

"Ena."

My mother's hands distract my eyes and her voice breaks through my thoughts.

"What?"

Max, and my grandma are staring but my mother is on her feet at the sink.

"Well?" Max signs.

"Well what?" I tell the room.

"Are you going to get that?" I then feel it. My phone vibrating next to my hand on the table.

I turn it upside down and stare at the number on the screen. I look up at my family and back at the screen. I press the green button and hold it up to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey is this, Ena?"

A familiar voice comes through the speakers.

"Uh, yeah."

"Hey, it's, Jaden. Remember?"

I blank on what to say, questions are flooding my mind and making it hard to focus on what to say. My family staring at me.

"Hello?"

I jump up from the table, freeze for a second, sign, "I'll be right back." and walk, or more like run to my room.

"Hello?"

I close the door and lock it behind me.

"How did you get my number?" I whisper-shout into the phone.

"Uh, I asked for it."

"Wh-who?"

"That hot friend of yours, Jessy." Jaden said. "Damn, that girl is fine, like she could really get it!" he remarked.

Rolling my eyes I responded, "Is this why you are calling me?"

"Oh, uh. No." There was a slight pause and I thought for a minute Jaden had hung up. "I'm wondering about, well you know, about what we are going to do? About the situation. You know, today." I could hear sadness in his voice and I suddenly realized that he did truly care about this.

"I'm not sure, but I think we can start by talking to Denise about this, maybe ask her about it and see what she says."

"Okay, and then who do we talk to?"

"The principal, the police, honestly anyone with power to get him arrested." I whispered into the phone to make sure my voice wasn't going into the kitchen.

"Oh ok."

There was an awkward pause, and for a split second I wanted to ask him if he was ok, how he was dealing with it or if he'd told anyone, after seeing him in the driveway at school. As if Jaden had read my mind I heard his sandpapery voice through the phone.

"Uh, by the way I didn't, tell anyone, like you said."

I swallowed my tears and the large lump in my throat. "Good."

"Uh also, are you coming to the party tomorrow?" he asked.

I didn't know what to say so I just said, "I don't know."

"Please, Ena. It- it honestly would really help, if you were there."

"Why don't you just postpone it?"

"I can't. Everyone knows it's tomorrow, it's too late now. Besides I don't wanna be home tomorrow night."

I let the words hang in the air and then say,

"Why?" I was genuinely curious. 

There was a pause.

"Uh, it doesn't matter."

I was gonna budge but I decided it was too private and too soon.

"But seriously, please come."

I registered his words in my mind. He really wanted me there, he really wanted me to go. I sighed and bit my lip hard, tasting the blood run through my teeth and said.

"We'll see." and hung up.