Love? Maybe !

Part - 4

_____Y/n, sorry I'm late"....said A fimiar voice...

I looked up to see his face....I smiled a little... " Well , it's not the First time"....I sighed.....

"Have a sit", I told him...
"Thank you"...he replied, looking down...

No wonder,how could you look into my eyes now Jungkook!

"You said, we need to talk"... I asked him coldly..
"How have you been, y/n?" ; He asked me, he looked at my face...
"Why? Please let's move to the topic straight"; I told him annoyingly..

"The female voice you've heard yesterday, That's Hyerin, Choi Hyerin"... He took a deep breath, again , looking down..." We met 4 months earlier", he added....

"So you are cheating on me ,this long time?? That's why you said, you're busy?" ...I asked him..

"N-Naa, it's been 2 and h-half months, I'm dating her" ; he replied hesitatedly...

But we won Best Couple award together last month,Jungkook....

"Oh, why haven't said about her earlier? If I say logically, you cheated on both of us"- I asked him..."but, can I ask you the reason to date her when you already had a girlfriend?"...I asked again...

"Do you want me to be honest with you?"- he looked at me ...

"Or what Jungkook?? You wanna lie again??Wanna make another drama??huh??"... I asked him back with a sarcastic smile...

"Y/n, remember we had a fight, 4 months earlier... You didn't talk to me for 6 days, I met her in that time, at a music club" , he sighed..."it's true y/n, I was so frustrated and upset about our relationship, you made me feel insecure everytime, you never told me you'll be with me, forever....I know ,you weren't serious about this relationship ".....he said little loudly..

"True, I never said I'll be with you forever, you're the one who always told me 'I'll keep loving you, no matter what '...now see, you stopped loving me,your love changed, not mine...I'm still here ".. I look at his eyes and said.... "That's why I never promised you, I'm glad that you thought I wasn't serious, I told you, I'm not for you, if you're happy with her, be happy ".... I added...

"Y/n, I must say, she is the daughter of our Principal, Mr. Choi.. you know already he has good connection with BIGI Music company, she's going to help me to debut , she is so supportive, straight forward and confident to herself , she is hardworking , also ; she wants us to be together, forever"....He replied....

"I hope she is the one I've always mentioned, who's completely your type...but Do you love her?" - asked him....

He looked down and said, " I maybe not in love with her right now, but I like her so much, I wish I can make it forever"...

"Now, would you care to tell me how I made you feel like I'm not serious? And why you haven't you Told me these all things before? at first place?"... I asked him ...

"Y/n, I told you already, I hope you understood...and you know what, I know your father don't like me, that's hurts my pride, but I still didn't complained cause I wanted to be with you"...he sighed..." And about Hyerin and My relationship, I wanted to tell you, but, it's true that I was busy with my music, I had some issues with producer...it took time to get over , I thought to call you, but it'd be better if I confont you...so I did..." ..... He said while looking down.....

Whatever you did, you did right Jungkook...I will not hate you....I just wish I could forget you....

"Hyerin wanted me to tell to all in college that you and me broke up, I guess we should do it next week, when our class will be held"...he said...

"I never Announced to them that You're my boyfriend or am your girlfriend, you're the one who did, so better you do it yourself again"....I said enough loudly.. "also, I'm not going to attend class, I'm taking TC , I'll email you tonight for Transcript, please make me one as soon as possible"...I added..

"So you decided to go far, good...Not me y/n, you are the one, who loves to run away"... He said...

"It's doesn't matter now, as I respected your decision, hope you'll do the same, do not judge"... I replied to him coldly....

"I said to you, so many times.. whatever you are, I love you as you, I wanna be with you, forever... But your self disorders, that irritated me so much..You never gave words to me...... Remember at my birthday? After party... I said to stay with me that night...you hesitated so much... I'll never make you understand how I felt...you made me feel like, I'm not even trustworthy"......his voice cracked...

"I hesitated because your mom was home, but whatever, I stayed with you,that night, you had opportunity to do those things you were supposed to do, why you didn't take that chance? Why???Now you're saying like I've stopped you! But no Jungkook, I didn't said NO"... I replied to him....

*my heart suddenly started beating so much, it's paining...My eyes becoming blurry again... I'm praying to God, please, don't let him see my tears.... please..*

"If it was just about sex, I had thousand of chances to take you in bed, it was about trust y/n, again I'll say, You never made me feel secure"....He said loudly...I flinched...

When you know I can't explain my feelings with words, I have disorders and insecurities with myself, why it was obvious to say "I trust you"? When you hugged me, I took a deep breath and told you "I wish we could stay like this forever"....why that wasn't enough to make you understand??when you held my hand, I held it tighter and said "I just wish this hands always keep holding mine"..why those words wasn't enough to make you understand that ..."I love you, hold me always, love me always, don't let me go, Stay with me forever...."

"Was it really love, y/n??Does people call it love? Don't you think we just spent time,it was attraction??I will say, it never was love"...he asked me...

"Maybe"- I whispered, but loud enough to make him hear...

*I let out my tears, I can't hold them anymore, I let them roll down...I wiped my tears , stood up and left from there.....

After dinner, I again remembered all things, I sighed...I really need to develop my behavior, I need to be confident...but right now I need to send application to Him for transcript, I hope I never see his face , Again........*

To be continued...