After Maison Blanche

Chapter 8

She knew he was trying to protect her, from what happened with Stefano, from what his body was craving in that moment, from every horrific event she'd ever suffered through. John would always try to protect her. She knew their relationship, past, present, and future, was complicated. The guilt from their affair wrapped around them like a blanket, but Marlena shoved it off. She was no longer willing to allow herself to feel guilty for loving him. Love was pure. And that's what she felt. Love. She loved John. She was in love with John. How they always managed to be there for each other in their worst moments would always be a mystery to her. But in her darkest times, she wanted him with her. She stepped closer, laying her cheek on his chest in the cooling water of the shower, and she realized it was time to acknowledge that. "John?"

He opened his eyes slowly, and tilted his head down to look into her eyes, desire clouding his blown pupils. "Yeah?"

She pulled back slightly, and touched his face, saying, "I love you."

"I love you," he said immediately. "I will always love you."

She was quiet for a moment, and she told him, "I'm in love with you."

John felt his heart begin to race, and suddenly he felt hopeful, "Doc?"

"Make me forget," she whispered, kissing his wet skin, near his shoulder. "Just make me forget everything for tonight, and we can discuss it tomorrow."

John didn't know how it was possible, but his cock got even harder. He wanted to give her that. His body was screaming for her physically, but it was so much more than physical. Marlena was the only woman he ever made love to, that he connected to spiritually. When he was with her, it was as if they became one. He craved that connection, and seemed to constantly be searching for it, but it didn't exist with anyone, but her. He stared down at her, feeling the rapidly cooling water hit his skin. His hands lightly traced across the top of her breasts. John would give her anything she asked for, but this, he had to be sure. He dropped his hand, and his fists clenched and unclenched, as he struggled to keep himself from tugging her closer and grinding his hips into hers. He stared into her eyes, and asked roughly, "Doc? I need you to say it. Tell me what you want."

She pressed her body, flush against his, so close that his turgid cock rubbed along her belly, and her nipples brushed his chest, repeating, "Make me forget...please John...make love to me."

"G-d—Doc..." he moaned, looping his arm around her waist roughly, and burying his face in her neck in relief. His other hand slid into her wet hair, and he crushed his lips to hers without preamble. Fingers tightened in her hair, gripping it so hard that pain, and pleasure shot straight to her pussy. Marlena's arms were around his neck in a moment, but almost as soon as his lips crashed onto hers, he stopped. Confusion lines his features. He used the leverage he had on her hair to pull her head back so he could look down into her eyes. They were both breathing hard, and the half-lidded, arousal blown stare Marlena was giving him, made it difficult to slow down.

John stared at her, unmoving, and finally rasped out, "Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you...I—I think we should wait, because of what you experienced the other night with Stefano...maybe even because of what I went through over the last month. I don't want to lose control with you, and I feel an energy, a tension in me...I'm almost vibrating with it, baby. I can't hurt you. I can't hurt you, but all my mind can conjure is burying myself in you, and pounding into your body." John released her hair, allowing his hands to move to her shoulders, "I swear, Doc, I have done nothing for weeks, but dream of you. Dream of us..."

Marlena ran her fingers softly over his lips, and said to him, "John, I want this. That's all. I can continue to lie to myself. You can continue to lie to yourself. No matter what we do, we will always circle back to each other. I'm done fighting that. It's exhausting. I want you. We can discuss it later, tomorrow...the day after. It doesn't matter." Lacing her fingers through his, she whispered, "Right now, my mind is a whirlwind, and my body is screaming for you. For the past two days, I have relived the feeling of Stefano's hands pawing at my skin, and my breasts, or hearing his heavy pants in my ears. For weeks, I watched his eyes light up with joy as he watched me, watching you suffer. I need to feel alive. I need to escape, we both do. We are so full of tension. Don't question it. I'm done questioning it." Her fingers fluttered over his chest hair, "I feel it rolling off of your body, John, that tension, the need to let go. I can give you that. My body is ready. It's aching for you. I want to give you that. I need someone to love me...and you love me. I know you do."