After Maison Blanche

Chapter 11

John sat on the veranda, looking at Marlena across the small table. The songs of nearby birds sounding in his ears, and the brush of the breeze over his skin calmed him. It had been five days since he and Marlena escaped Maison Blanche together, and John was still fascinated by the turn their lives had taken. He wasn't sure how this thing between them would turn out, and he knew when they returned to Salem they would have a long road ahead of them, but he was honest when he'd told Marlena that he wouldn't let her go. John placed a mug of coffee in front of her, and said to her softly, "When Shane told me Stefano was dead, I was so angry. All I could think was my final link to my past was gone, and I'd never know any of it."

Marlena watched the sadness play over his features, and reached for John's hand, grasping it tightly, "You know, just because Stefano is dead, we don't have to give up."

"We?" John could never explain the joy he felt in that one simple word.

Her shy smile lit up her face as she responded, "Yeah. You don't think I'm going to let you do this alone do you?"

"Doc, the way I feel...hearing you say, we," he whispered. He felt the soft touch of Marlena's fingers brushing over the top of his hand and he continued softly, "There were times, when I would be trying so hard to forget you, and focus on Kristen. Times when it became so difficult that it bordered on painful. I woke in the night once, and she was beside me in the bed...Doc it took everything in me, not to drive to your house and try to convince you to give me another chance. All I ever wanted was another chance."

"I should have told you how I truly felt when we were in Mexico," she whispered.

John closed his eyes for a minute, remembering the pain and the words that remained unspoken that day. The only true hints to how they really felt, hidden in small gestures, and Marlena's whispered, "I love you."

John opened his eyes, "I sometimes wonder that, too. But, Doc...we knew. We both knew how the other felt, and we walked away anyway. I was feeling so much insecurity. I was about to lose my whole life...I hung onto Isabella with everything I had—"

"—and I felt so guilty about what happened to Roman," she whispered. Looking into his eyes, she said, "I felt so guilty for believing you were him, for loving you...when he was with Stefano the whole time." Tears filled her eyes, "I'm done feeling guilty for loving you."

"You know Shane told me something else the other night...Roman's here, in New Orleans. He wants to see you...but, I told Shane I had to talk to you first. You were my rock at Maison Blanche, and when I was hospitalized. When we came here a few days ago, you were so vulnerable. You were finally able to let your guard down. I'm sorry, I've known for a few days, and didn't say anything."

"John," she said, stopping him. "I understand...you were right."

"I was worried about you. I'm still worried about you." John ran his fingers through his hair, and gazed back on her face, "I won't react well if he comes at you the way he has been since February. You've been hurt too much in the past few weeks. You've been hurt too much in your life...and I know we made mistakes with our affair, we did. We went about dealing with our feelings all wrong, but he won't treat you like a possession, he won't abuse you, he won't belittle you...Not in front of me."

Marlena stared at him with tears in her eyes, and acknowledged the way he loved her, and took care of her. Even as he was still recovering from Stefano's torture, he wanted to protect her. It was why she could never let him go. It was why she loved him still, because in her life, no one had ever loved her with the force that John Black loved her. He was the missing piece of her heart, and her soul. Marlena whispered, "Okay."