After Maison Blanche

Chapter 9

John carried Marlena's limp body into the bedroom, kissing her mouth languidly as he walked. She would be sleeping with him. There was no way he was letting her go. Not bothering with clothes, he watched Marlena climb in, and scoot to the far side, but when she reached for him, his heart felt near to exploding with love. Sliding in beside her, his body shivered when she rolled into him, resting her face on his shoulder. Her lips kissed his neck softly, and she whispered, "I meant what I said, John. I love you."

"I need—I have to know, Doc...what does this mean?" he asked her. Marlena was quiet, and John said, "Because with Roman..."

"I was gone for nearly a month, you've been gone longer than that. The whole time, I worried about my children, and I worried about you. I—I couldn't spare a thought for Roman, because I was consumed with you. Every night, when I lay in bed listening to the deafening silence...I thought about how hard I was fighting to save my marriage..." she said softly, "...but I had only vaguely wondered about the impact on my relationship with Roman. I don't love him anymore, not the way I should anyway." Her hand traced over John's gaunt ribs, "I can't let you go. I tried, but I can't. What we went through together...I realized I don't want to give you up. And maybe...maybe you don't want to give me up either?"

"G-d, Doc," John sighed softly. "I never wanted to give you up. I wanted to beg you to leave Roman. I would have been willing to watch your family destroyed to have you in my arms every night. Oh, how I wanted to beg you to leave him, and be with me."

"Would you still want that?" she asked him softly.

"More than anything in the world, Doc. More than anything," he whispered. "I just—I worry about Sami."

"Sami's anger...its justified," Marlena said. "It is, but I can't live the rest of my life wishing I was with you, and forcing myself to ignore that. It will happen again."

"What would happen again?" He asked her quietly.

"Another affair...I'd be drawn to you, unable to stay away, and something would happen. It always does, John. I have to accept it, and handle whatever happens, but I can't let you go...and I really hope, that maybe...you don't want to let me go either."

John kissed the top of her head, whispering, "That makes me the luckiest, and the happiest man alive, Doc. If you tell me you want to commit to this, you and me, raising Belle and Brady together...I can handle anything. Anything at all, as long as I'm with you."

Marlena sighed. The last month had been a constant feeling of impending doom, where all she could hope for...all she could pray for, was to get out of it alive, and with John. She wasn't going to keep pushing him away, because life was fleeting, and she wanted to spend it with him. "I do," she told him. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you...come what may, John."

John tipped his head down, and kissed her softly, "Fuck, Doc. Do you know how happy that makes me?"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

John was disoriented, and confused when he was pulled from his sleep by a sharp knock on the door half way through the night. It took him a moment to remember where he was, then a few seconds longer to figure out how he came to have Marlena's beautiful naked body intwined with his. He smiled when his hand ran over the soft skin of her hip, and around her back, causing her to hum softly in her sleep, and press closer to his own naked body. She was so soft and warm, that he didn't want to leave her. He'd felt perpetually cold for the last month, and being in bed with her was pure bliss. Glancing at the clock John noticed that it was only 3:35 am. Carefully disengaging from Marlena, he rolled from the bed, slipping a pair of sweatpants on, and rushed to the door.