Christmas Connection

Until Dusk (Part 2)

Perry did not have an idea about what to do when I questioned her about our next activity, so predictably she asked me what else I did after opening presents. To which I told her that I would leave the wrapping papers in a mess in the living room and enjoy a hearty breakfast of porridge and bread rolls that were filled with spiced nuts and dried fruit mixture. Though before she can say anything about wanting me to recreate the breakfast or whatever idea she has in mind. I pointed out that I just had a Big Mac, french fries and a diet coke and that I am full and no longer want to eat anything for the next three hours or more. So that brings us to where we are now, which is both of us sitting in silence wondering what else to do.

"Fredrik?" Perry spoke.

"Yeah," I asked as I lay on my bed wiggling my toes, which are semi-crooked on my left foot.

"You are aware that I'm twenty-one right?"

"Yes I remember."

"Does that bother you?"

"Your age?"

"I'm older than you by three years."

"So?"

"Nothing, I just thought that you would rather talk to someone younger."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because guys for some reason prefer talking to younger girls?"

"I see your point but I'm eighteen."

"And?"

"I'm at the point in my life where I've become a pedophile."

Thud!

"Sorry but can you repeat what you've just said?" Perry requested.

"Why?" I pondered.

"I fell off my bed and my coccyx hurts," Perry answered as I heard more items falling. "Anyway, repeat what you've said again but more slowly, make sure you enunciate every word properly."

"I've become a pedophile."

Then I hear that familiar raucous cackling which seems to go on forever.

"I'm sorry but why would you say that?" Perry questions as she tries to stifle her laugh.

"Because it's the truth," I replied earnestly.

"Explain."

"How do I say it? Because of my age I can no longer talk to children aged seventeen and younger without coming off as a pedophile."

"Are you attracted to children aged seventeen and under?"

"Well I'm an adult male at the prime of his sexual life, but unfortunately no..."

"What?"

"I'm not sexually attracted to underaged children."

"Then why are you saying that you're a pedophile?"

"Because that's what it looks like."

"But with that logic, you are saying that anyone who makes conversation with people aged seventeen and under is a pedophile."

"Yes."

"Then parents all around the world must be pedophiles then."

"Not really."

"But with your logic..."

"It would mean that they are incest."

"I can't tell if you're joking or not."

"In all honesty, I'm saying that I'm not a pedophile and parents aren't either but people just like to assume the worst when seeing things that they don't understand and I don't want to be the victim of those assumptions."