Chapter 18

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Fuck have I missed her

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Fuck have I missed her.

Those pretty lips. Her dark hair falling in her beautiful eyes. The way my fucking heart pounds in my chest and my stomach drops just being near her again. Damn am I a fuck up. I can't believe I let her go this long. That I completely destroyed us and let her walk away. I know she's going to be mad it took me this long to come after her. 

"Hey little psycho, I've missed you." I can't help the rasp of my voice. Emotion welling up in my throat. 

Her eyes bug out before being replaced with a scowl. Fuck I'm in trouble.

"That's it. You miss me. You fucking tore my heart out and let me go for a fucking year and all you got is I missed you." She's yelling now. Yep. I knew she would be angry.

I scrub my hands over my face. You would think I'd have something better to say given I had a whole year to prepare for this. She's still yelling about it. When I snatch her up by the arm and pull her to me. 

She feels fantastic in my arms. I can feel myself relax as she stiffens causing my heart to squeeze in fear. Fuck, maybe I misjudged this. I pull back searching her face for any sign of contempt and while I find rage and hurt I also find longing. 

"Baby, I'm sorry it took so long for me to come after you. I had a lot to get in order before I could come to you." I whisper into her hair wrapping my arms around her again. 

I can feel her sigh and start to relax while I continue to talk.

"It took us forever to find Nancy a house, then we had to pack her house and then sell it. I had to bribe and pay out the people across the street from you so that I could buy that house." She gasps pulling back to look at me. I just continued on staring into her eyes.

"Then I had to set someone up to take over the garage and then find a new place here to open up another one. That was a pain in the ass. Don't even get me started on transferring Cole and Liam to school here and getting Jackson settled for the major league." I brush the hair out fo her eyes watching her take in the fact that I'm here hell we are all here. I'm not leaving it's permanent.

"What about your baby?" She whispers the sob caught in her throat. I hate that she's spent the last year thinking I gave up on her. That I forgot or pushed her aside. That my last words were hateful and uncalled for.

"I had to wait for Kennedy to give birth. She lied about how far along she was but I still had her take a paternity test. The baby isn't mine." I feel helpless as she takes a step back.

"So all the hurt and pain you put me through , fuck that you went through was for nothing." She speaks through a clenched jaw now. Her big blue eyes swimming in tears. I hate the tears.


"Baby I am so fucking sorry. Everything I said fuck"I run my hands through my hair pulling hard.

"I am so sorry Sawyer. I didn't mean  any of those awful things I said. You mean everything to me. I woke up and you were gone and I died inside. I treated you terribly and I have hated myself for it every moment of everyday." I swallow hard. The pain in her eyes as her tears fall.

"You aren't selfish or damaged baby. I don't think you are anything but kind and smart. You were right you deserved to know about Kennedy. I shouldn't have kept it from you or bottled it up. It wasn't right. All the drinking I did definitely didn't help because I didn't know I was hurting the person I care about and love most in this world." I step closer to her lifting her chin up so she can see how much I love her and mean this next part.

"Meeting you was the best thing to ever happen to me. I should have never said I wish I wouldn't have found you. That was uncalled for and just plain wrong. I wish you never would have been in that position Sawyer but I am so happy I met you and that I found you."

Her sobbing tears my heart out as I pull her in close for another hug.

"What are my three rules baby?" I ask kissing the top of her head.

"Don't Cheat, no means no and don't lay your hands on a woman" She breathes out.

"I hate the tears baby but I hate more that I caused them. I may not have laid a hand on you but I did hurt you and for that I will never be able to forgive myself much less expect you too." I squeeze her tighter before letting her go.

"I love you Sawyer always have and I always will. I moved here for you, my friends came with because they love you too. I'm here for you baby. If you want me I'm here. If you never want to see me again I will become a recluse but I'll still be here. ".  

I will be here for her no matter in what capacity. I am prepared to grovel to beg, borrow and steal to win her back. I will do, say and bend to whatever she demands because she deserves more than what I've given her.

"I will do absolutely anything for you baby. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."





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