Love me, again.
S/Q: Do you guys like when I use pictures and gifs throughout the book?
May 9th: Same day
10:05pm
The girls were sound asleep and the apartment was now quiet as it can be. I took a lengthy warm shower and decided to do a little bit of studying before I too were off to bed. Pouring myself a small glass of wine, I walked over to the living room area and made myself comfortable.
"Hello?" I picked up my phone as I noticed an incoming FaceTime call from Riley. "Hey sis, I was calling to tell my babies goodnight but I done got busy, and lost track of time. Whatcha doing up this late?" She asked as I sipped on my red wine.
"Studying for this exam I have coming up this Friday. Girl, you know Dave dropped by?" I said still in shock. "I mean I am happy he's back, maybe he can step up and help me with the girls. But for real Riley, it's been well over a year. Seeing him today made me realize that I am still dealing with the emotions of everything that transpired between us." I admitted.
Even with therapy and support from my sister, I still had nightmares from the things Dave has done to me in the past. The abuse, the manipulation and not to mention the infidelity. My heart still ached from it all, and with due time I am hoping to heal so I can love myself properly.
Legally I am still married to Dave, even though I consider us to not be together anymore. I still have my ring as well as our marriage license. Kairi and Ava were still young and the last thing I want to do it to confuse them. However, I want them to make memories with the very man who help create them.
"Look sis, truth be told. Healing takes time and there's no time limit on when you should heal. Take things a day at a time and figure out what Lauren wants, but at the same time you have two beautiful girls to think about as well. And as much as I hate Dave's patchy beard having ass and that raspy ass voice sounding like he need to cough one good time. He's a good person who's just struggling with some deep shit." Riley preached.
"You're right. I have a lot of thinking to do, this is too much girl. I mean between school, work and Kairi cookie stealing self I can't deal." We both laughed in unison.
Ending our phone call, I begin studying and continued on with my night afterwards.
Next morning
May 10th
9:30am
Wrapping up my morning prayer, I stood to my feet and begin to get things ready for the day. Today was my second official day out of rehab, it felt amazing to be back home to my stomping grounds. I looked forward to seeing my family and friends. Seeing Lauren and my two beautiful girls was my first stop, but I knew that being around them would open up a lot of old wounds that haven't been quite healed just yet.
I struggled for over a year not hearing Lauren's voice, being able to be in her presence or even be able to play with my kids. I missed some of the most important days of Ava's life, as well as Kairi's. As cliché as it may sound, I'm going to do whatever it takes to get my family back.
Being in rehab limited the amount of time I had on the phone, I wasn't allowed to leave the premises unless it was a group activity nor was I allowed to let anyone know where I was at.
Trust and believe, I know a lot of people must hate me for the man I was but I promise I'm no longer that man. Or I at least keep him on a very tight leash. A lot of shit has went down or changed since the last time you all heard of me.
Tonight was my first official night back in the mean streets of New York. A few homies of mine were throwing a chill laid back party for my return. I was excited to see everyone as well as have some well needed fun.
"What's up East! Good to see you back man." One of the homies shouted out through FaceTime.
"Good to be back man, honestly I'm blessed to be here." I replied.
"Man look, put on your Sunday's best and get your ass out here tonight. Don't worry, it's our treat. We gone show off!" Bobby preached.
Bobby was one of the coolest New York cats straight out of the Bronx. He showed love to everybody even though he was from a different borough. I was definitely ready to step out and see everybody as well as see how much has changed since I've been away.
Same day
2:45pm
"Girl I need my nails done." Natasha said holding out her hands.
"You and me both, we should go get our nails done today. Riley's off so she agreed to pick up the girls and watch them for a few hours. And I don't have class so." I added.
"Say less I'm messaging my nail tech right now as we speak." Natasha popped her gum.
Getting back to work, I typed up a few patient documents as well as filed some paperwork. Today was a slow day at the clinic so I decided to straighten up the file cabinets as well as my desk.
"Lauren! It's a flower delivery for you!" Natasha shouted.
As I turned around I noticed a delivery man dropping off a big bouquet of flowers at my desk. It was a mix of bright colorful flowers.
"Here's a tip, thank you very much." I smiled and went on about my day.
"My nail tech said we can come as soon as we leave here. But who is the new boo?" Natasha asked being nosey as usual. "Girl not new, just finally decided to pop back up." I spoke truthfully.
"Bitch Dave back?!" She shouted-whispered at the same time causing a few patients to look up from their magazines. "Girl be quiet and yes he's back. He stopped by my apartment yesterday." I replied without saying too much.
Natasha and I have grown really close to each other these past several months. She was a few years older than myself but our personalities almost went hand in hand. The only difference between us is I had two children and she had zero. While I would try to find a babysitter, she was out turning up.
Please don't twist my words around, I definitely enjoy being home with my kids. But every now and again momma needs to let her hair down and get a little wild for old times sake.
"Girl if I were you I'd let him blow my back out." She admitted.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't occasionally get wet just thinking about the amazing sex Dave and I had with one another. But in all honesty, it was the last thing on my mind right now. I had many questions to ask him, just didn't know when and what I was going to ask exactly.
I wanted to allow the right time to present itself before I bombarded him with questions.
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Question: How would you guys feel if she gave Dave another chance given their history?
