"Papa you're hurting mommy!" The little girl wrestled with my legs as she instantly jumped into defense mode. Twice today my young daughter witnessed me become a savage and just like that the sweet papa she once knew me to be was gone forever. "Papa stop!" Tears flooded her beautiful eyes as she sobbed hopelessly.
Letting go of the woman I fell in love with many years ago, her body slammed into the grey porcelain tiles. "Go to bed Kairi and I'm going to only say it once." I turned to her. Her eyes filled with fear, as if now she was afraid of me. Unable to soften my stance, I watched her walk away and disappear into the dark bedroom.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!
"Please don't touch me." Lauren sobbed as she moved away from my touch. "I'll be back in the morning to pick the girls up." I left without looking back.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
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Running to the large apartment windows, I watched Dave zoom off in his blacked out beamer. Hearing soft sobs come from the partially cracked bedroom door, I knew what Kairi witnessed tonight will haunt her forever. As a mother I did my absolute best to protect my girls and hide the painful parts of what I go through with their father. "Hey, baby." I whispered doing my best to not wake Ava. He tears drenched her pajama top, so I picked her up to go grab a new one.
"Hey, baby don't cry." I wiped away her warm salty tears. Her little face was flushed from all the crying. "Mommy's fine, I'm right here baby. I know what you saw tonight probably scared you right?" She nodded her head as confirmation.
The one thing about parenting no one tells you about was doing your best to hide your pain in order to heal your children's. A side of me wanted to ball up into a fetal position and cry my eyes out but another side of me was also numb. Dave couldn't stand to know that I gave my body to another man other than him, though he would lie and state otherwise.
He would cheat with any bitch who would be willing to let him hit. God forbid I go out for a night on the town to have fun, or date another guy. He's shooting bullets and knocking out my two front teeth. Tonight made me grateful I decided to finally go through with our divorce. He was still the same man deep down inside.
The next morning I managed to gather myself and the girls. Today was Kairi's last day of school until fall and today was the day I would go to take my exam for my completion of school as well. It was busy for all three of us. Ava was being stubborn and took forever to get out of bed. Once she was finally up they washed their faces, brushed their teeth, and I made breakfast. Though I did my best to put last nights events in the back of my mind, I knew that Kairi wouldn't be able to.
"Flash mommy a smile princess." I placed a plate of warm waffles in front of her. Waffles were her favorite breakfast food while apple cinnamon oatmeal was Ava's. Growing up my mother made you eat whatever the hell she made, which majority of the time it was good. But some shit I just couldn't stand, like sausage for breakfast. Hated it, even until this day.
Hearing keys jingle, Dave walked through the front door without making eye contact. Something I'd never admit out loud was my on pouring love for him. After all the crazy shit I still loved him like crazy. Kissing the girls forehead, I gathered their dirty dishes as he assisted them with grabbing their backpacks. "Have a good day at school baby, and you be good for grandma." I kissed both of my girls before they left.
Dave and I haven't spoke a word to one another for the first time in years. The tension was thick but I knew I had to let that shit fly and focus on myself. Today was a big day for me and I couldn't let yesterday's events cloud my mind. I studied for months to take this nclex exam. Gathering my supplies, packing a few healthy snacks and grabbing my Stanley. I made my way out the door ready to conquer the day.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
"Where are we going papa?" Kairi asked as she noticed we weren't heading towards her school. After thinking long and hard, I decided to take my girls away from Lauren for good. I owned properties in other cities she knew nothing about. My truck was full of fuel and ready to go. There was no need to pack clothes or toys, papa had more than enough money to replace every piece. Bribing them with McDonald's food, I managed to keep the questions to a minimum.
This wasn't the first time Lauren put dick before her family. Yes, what I was doing was wrong and illegal as fuck but I didn't care. She fucked with my mental when she decided to give another nigga what was mine. Crossing the state lines and starting over with my daughters alone wasn't ideal. I loved their mother with every bone, cell and drop of blood in my body. Somehow she always managed to find a way to hurt me and drive me insane.
I thought I was getting better, I thought not taking my medication was helping me become better but all I felt was rage. Last night after I left Lauren's place, I managed to find information on both of her friends Brianna and Jeremy, and ordered hits on the both of them. I wanted to break her down to the last of whatever hope she had left. Once she noticed her children would never return, she won't have anyone to turn to. Only the lord himself and that's if he decides to listen.
After she turned her phone back on, she would be hit with a reality that will make her not only hate me but herself.
