Stranded (The Wilds)

three

tw:panic attacks
(idk if i needed a tigger warning for that but just in case i am giving one)
~~~

It's been five days, five days Madison has been stranded on some deserted island with eight boys she doesn't know. The longer recuse doesn't come the more hope she loses.

They decided that they needed some kind of shelter to sleep in, so that's how Madison found herself picking up sticks in the woods by herself. She wanted to go alone she needed some time alone without boys surrounding her.

Her thoughts raced as she thought about their situation, about how they have trapped on a deserted island till further notice for God knows how long, how one of them as already died, how any one of them could die, how she could die, how she might never see her friends or family again. The gravity of all this suddenly all hit her at once as if the reality of all this was finally setting it and that made it hard to breathe, which then made it feel like she wasn't getting enough air into her lungs, which then lead to hyperventilating.

Madison knew what this was, she has had panic attacks before, her body was shaking, her chest felt heavy and her thoughts were racing with all the things that could possibly go wrong. She let the sticks slip from her arms and fall to the ground, as she grabbed onto a tree and lower herself to the ground, holding her chest with her other hand trying her best to control her breathing with tears falling from her eyes.

But she couldn't, all she could do was panic with the world spinning unable to properly breathe.

Madison vaguely heard somebody calling her name but they felt far away but in reality, they were crouched down beside her.

"Madison, you need to breathe." She turned her head to figure out who was speaking to her, it was Kirin.

"I-I can't." Madison stuttered out, barely being able to get the words to leave her lips.

Kirin nodded "Just take a deep breath in and out." He told her.

She followed his instructions, she took a deep breath in and out a few times before he spoke again "Tell me five things you can see." Madison knew this technique because a therapist had once taught her it.

She looked around, she was still struggling to breathe slightly but she decided that she could manage to talk, "Um, trees, the sky, leaves, you, and my ring on my hand." She told Kirin with a shaky voice.

"Four things you can feel?"

Madison put her shaky hands onto her legs, "my skin," she moved her hands to the ground where leaves sat "leaves," then she put her hands onto her grey zip up hoodie, "my zip up hoodie," she then put her hands in her hair, "and my hair." She told him, taking another deep breath.

"Three things you can hear?"

Madison listen for things she could hear, it was a lot easier to do this one outside than in a room, "the wind, birds, and my voice." She said.

"Two things you can smell?"

Madison scoffed, the last two were always the hardest, "um, the earth and the ocean." She struggled with that one but her answers were good enough for Kirin to continue.

Kirin laughed slightly at her answers before asking her the last one, "and one thing you can taste."

"My saliva?" Her answer came out as more of a question.

Kirin laughed again at that, "yeah the last two are always the hardest." He said her thoughts from a few minutes ago.

"The hearing one is also a bit difficult, especially if you're in a room." Madison told Kirin as he move to sit down beside her, "how did even know of that technique?" She asked him.

Her voice was a bit hoarse from all the hyperventilating and her hands were still shaking but other than that she had calmed down.

"I used to have panic attacks," Kirin said not giving up much more information.

Madison nodded "I have taken them before, I have struggled with anxiety my whole life and a therapist taught me that technique a couple of years ago but I always forget any techniques in the
moment. I haven't had one in ages so that didn't help my memory." She explained to Kirin.

"Are you okay now?" Madison nodded at that, she did feel better but she still felt shaken, "I won't ask what triggered it, I think the answer is pretty obvious."

Madison let out a chuckle, "Yeah, I guess the reality of this finally hit me and I felt overwhelmed." She watched as Kirin let his hand fall back against the tree letting out a sigh.

"It all still feels surreal to me." He told her.

Madison looked down at her hands, twisting the silver ring on her finger. She wasn't going to expect Kirin to start opening up, but she also didn't expect him to be good at helping her. He seemed like your typical popular high school athlete who reeked of toxic masculinity. But then again there was probably more to him than meets the eye, you are always told to not judge a book by its cover and if Madison was being honest with herself she did that all the time.

"I didn't expect you to be able to help." She told him, lifting her hand to look at him again.

Kirin laughed at that still looking at the sky, "guess I don't seem like the type." He stated, "you were the one that said that toxic masculinity just radiates off me."

Madison smiled a bit, "and I still stand by that, even if it's all just an act." She told him.

Kirin turned his hand to meet her eyes, smiling slightly, "want help collecting sticks?" He asked, "everybody else is working in pairs, we were the only two who decided to look for shit alone." He told her.

Madison nodded, "sure, why not." With that, they both stood up and started to look for more sticks.

Madison honestly couldn't believe she was getting close with somebody like Kirin but she could see herself being friends with him after today. The only one she had really begun to get close with was Ivan but other than him she more or less kept to herself.

Madison wouldn't mind getting to know the other boys as well, they were standard on an island together so they might as well get to know each other. She decided she would start doing that tonight.

"Maybe we should like play some kind of ice breaker tonight," Madison suggested to Kirin as she picked up a stick.

Kirin scoffed, "what is this? Summer camp?" He joked.

Madison rolled her eyes, "I am just saying, maybe it's time we get to know each other." She stated.

"I guess." Kirin shrugged.

Madison smiled feeling satisfied with that answer. If this was going to work they needed to get to know each other and not be so distant from each other, she just hoped the other boys would go along with this.

~~~

Sorry this took forever to update and that this chapter is actual shit, I rush this at 1am just wanting to update it finally.

I've been super busy with school and my formal (it's prom in Northern Ireland) was yesterday so I was busy with appointments and getting ready lmao.

Also I have took panic attacks myself but I probably wrote it badly so sorry about that as well.