Deidara x Reader

Ending

In your dreams, you and Deidara have sex. But not how you always do. More... aggressive. He licks your... insides, and so on. How ever the reader wants to think about it, think about it that way. Not explaining any further. In your dream, when you both are done, he doesn't get up and leave like a pathetic loser because of embarrassment, he stays with you because he loved you.

Unfortunately, he shakes you awake. When you realize it was a dream. You were slightly uncomfortable. Soon, you realize you feel... wetter than normal... from how you normally wake up. Hopefully he didn't notice. You doubt he did, but still blush.

"Are you ok?" He asks.

"Yeah, why?" You smile at him.

"Because you were muttering, 'Mhm daddy, gimme more. Yum, keep it coming...' and it was really weirding me out." He looked away. Now he clearly knew what it was.

"Oh god."

"Yeah..."

"Sorry about that." You apologize awkwardly.

"Why?"

"Because you said I was weirding you out!"

"Well, what your thinking is not what I meant. I'm just going to say it. You were having sec in your dream, if I'm correct, and I think I am. It was probably a wet dream too." He says, looking at your hoo-haa, covered by your pajamas.

"Haha, shut up." You blush even brighter.

"The only reason it was weirding me out for was because I had no proof you were having sex with me. I had no proof it wasn't Kisame, or literally anybody. It made me uncomfortable." He says helplessly. So he wasn't weirded out by your very... interesting dream. Only by the fact that there was a possibility the dream wasn't about him. Jealous, much?

"Eww, no! He's a slimy sea creature! I wouldn't let that thing touch me!"

"But you let him slap you a lot of days ago! I know you were awake! I know it!"

"That was an exception."

"In what way?" He asks.

"If I didn't, you probably never would have kissed me! We probably wouldn't even be together at all! I would still be crushing, but never act upon my feelings. Now that I think about it... it's kind of Kisame's fault we're together."

"Yeah. Your right." He agrees.

You both look at each other for a few seconds, then run out of the room and bang on Kisame's door.

"What the hell do you want." He groans sleepily. You barge in and run up to the side of his bed, where he is still half asleep and drooling all over his pillow.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" You both say extremely fast interrupting each other.

"WHAT?"

"You made a bet with me! To kiss her!" Deidara said as fast as Tobirama's flying raijin jutsu. An exaggeration, but still.

"And I liked it, and now we're dating!" I finish his sentence.

"And it's your fault cause if you never made the deal, we would not be a thing!"

"So to sum it up, with out you me and Deidara would have never had sex!!!" You say, way too happy, probably sounding like a psychopath.

"WOW. THAT INFORMATION WAS EXTREMELY UNNECESSARY." He said gruffly while getting untangled from his blankets and standing up from bed. "But glad I could help!" He said, voice changing into a girl's voice in seconds. Wow. Mood swings.

"How can we repay you?" He asks, sounding oddly like Karui after I saved her life.

"I. Want. Condoms." He says way too serious.

"Oh my god! Your dating Itachi, right? I had no idea he's into that stuff! And aren't you like way older than him?" You say, extremely uncomfortable.

"Yes. I am way older than him. That's what makes me so dreamy." He attempted to flip his short hair. He acts like such a girl sometimes.

"Eww, ok." Deidara said running back in the room, throwing a box of condoms at his head, and grab your hand and pull you out. The worst part was when he was gone, you were in a room alone with that shark creep, and he looked at you... and smiled.

"He's cool and stuff, but kinda scares me." You confess.

"Haha, he kinda scares everyone."

"Clearly. Except Itachi." You cringe at that.

"Anyways..." he says changing the subject, attempting to be subtle, but failing. "Now we have no condoms..."

"Yeah. That sucks." You say. "Oh! I have a good idea!"

You run into Konan's room. Pain and her are busy having sex on the couch, so you get in unseen. You look in her dresser, and fine that the entire thing is full of sex toys, gel, condoms, and way more. Even things you've never seen before. You grab a giant bag, scoop it all in, and run out and back into Deidara's room.

"What's that?" He asks ignorantly.

"Everything. I think I did the whole Akatsuki a favor. Except Pain and Konan, though." You poor all the stuff on the floor and examine every item carefully.

"Wow. Ok. That's a lot. We can use it later, but I'm not ready for that, yet." He says.

"Me neither." You say. He leans in and kisses you softly for several seconds.

"[Y/N]!!! DEIDARA!!!!" Konan hells banging on the door.

"I locked it." You whisper to Deidara, and flip her off through the door. He laughs, and kisses you again. Soon she gives up, but surely when you leave the room you'd be in a lot of trouble with her, so you just stay in.

He kisses you for a moment longer and then pulls away.

"Are you ok?" You ask.

"Yeah. I just love you and if anything happened to you, I'd die." He says. What an over exaggeration.

"I feel the same." You whisper and kiss his neck. You know it's true. Not literally die, but your heart would be dead. Some people say time is the best medicine for things like that, but every second without him would break you even more. You would explain it to him like that, but since your Blondie is such a moron, you keep it to yourself, and kissed him again like you'd never get to again.