I wipe the tears from my face as I get out of the car. I take a deep breath as I walk across the front porch and into the house. Hopefully my eyes won't give my crying away. As soon as I walk into the room, I'm met by laughter.
Jacklyn's here. And she's making my dad laugh.
"Hey A! How's it going?" My dad asks happily, not noticing anything abnormal about me.
"Fine." I say quietly. We sit in silence for a couple seconds before Jacklyn fills in.
"Hey, I missed you at work today." Jacklyn says, narrowing her eyes a little.
"Yeah, I had, uh, a test to make up." I make up an excuse quickly.
"Oh, that's fine, don't worry about it then." Jacklyn smiles widely at me.
"Do you want supper?" My dad gestures towards the spaghetti cooking on the stove. Since when did he cook?
I shake my head and go upstairs before I have to make any more awkward conversation.
Their laughter shakes the walls. As much as I'm happy that my dad's happy, it is extremely painful that I wasn't the one who could do that for him.
I lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling, listening to their laughter. It's never ending, like time. The longer it goes on, the more my heart rips in two. Aren't I supposed to be happy that he moved on from Mary? I'm a terrible daughter.
Finally, when the sky is dark and the crickets are chirping, Jacklyn gets ready to leave. I tune into their goodbyes.
"Alright, drive safe. Love you." My dad says. That's what does it. That's what makes my heart shatter. My dad hasn't said those words since I was 8 years old. He stopped saying it two years after Mary left us. I feel my heart get ripped out of my chest. It hurts, but it hurts so much I don't even cry. I just stare at the ceiling in silent agony.
A single tear rolls down my face. That tears holds so much. It holds life. It holds my grief for Jamie's death. It holds everything that's gone down between Riley and I. It holds Casper. It holds all of the accusations and judgmental stares at school. It holds Mary's hatred for me and all of the harsh words she's said. This single tear holds me.
Someone knocks on my window. Riley's figure is highlighted by the moonlight. I open the window for him and he slips in my dark room.
"Hey, what's wrong." He asks quietly.
"How'd you know something was wrong?" He takes a few moments to answer.
"I just had a feeling." He says, enveloping me in a hug. I stiff my face into his chest and breathe in his scent. He rubs my back gently.
He pulls back and kisses the tear from my cheek. He leads me to the bed and lays down. I lay down next to him and he wraps his arms around my shoulders. I fall asleep to him humming Lips of an Angel.
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When I wake up, Riley is gone. I get up and look at the clock. 10:43. Realization that it's Saturday sweeps over me and I put my fist up in the air in triumph. This has been a majorly long week.
I go downstairs to get something to eat. There's a folded piece of paper on the counter with my name scrawled on the top. I open it quickly and read it.
I'll be back at 6. p.s. you might want to wear a swimsuit - Riley
I fold the note up and put it in my pajama pocket. I go back upstairs, intending to get homework done for Monday so I don't have to worry about it later. As soon as I get back into my room, my phone rings. Casper's face lights up the screen.
"Hola, hokey pokey. I've been calling you all morning." He says.
"Hi Cas." I say, rolling my eyes.
"I was wondering if you wanted to come with me to church tomorrow? I mean, I know it sounds lame, but my parents really want you to come. Plus, we go out to eat afterwards, so free food." He keeps trying to convince me.
"Okay! I'll go with you if you shut up." I say.
"Yes! Remember that I'll be there at 8. So be ready."
"I'll try, mom."
"Ha ha, you're so funny." He says sarcastically, then hangs up on me. What did I just get myself into? I won't be able to get up that early. Casper can have fun with that.
______________________________________________________________
At around 5 o'clock I start getting ready for my "date" with Riley. I don't bother taking a shower, figuring we're going swimming or something close to that if I have to wear a swimsuit. After putting on my swimsuit, I throw on some jean shorts and one of Jamie's old muscle tees. His cheap cologne still lingers on it. I breathe it in and relax a little.
"Ready?" Riley's voice comes from behind me. I jump and turn around, narrowing my eyes at him.
"How did you get in?" I ask as he smiles at me.
"You left the door unlocked." I don't push it any further, not wanting to ruin anything with suspicion.
"Okay, then let's go." I say, moving past him and making my way down the stairs and into his truck. When I climb into the cab of his truck I hear "Journey" playing from the radio.
"What are you, 40? Who listens to this stuff?" I say. When did I start teasing? I haven't teased anyone since Jamie...left.
"I grew up on this stuff. This is my mom's all time favorite song." He turns it up a little and sings along to it. His voice mesmerizes me, like an angel. Or a siren when in mythological stories.
"I think it's just become mine." I mumble, still staring. Once I compose myself I manage to actually speak. "So where are we going?"
"Have you ever heard of a water rave?" He asks, "Or a black light party?"
"No."
"Okay, well basically you can paint anything on you and with the help of the lights, it glows."
"Okay, but what about the water?" I ask.
"You'll see." He smiles mischievously. What did I just get myself into?
