Running in Circles - Lexie Grey x OC

I'm Doing Everything I Can

Cristina Yang had been idle for weeks, standing in the background, watching everyone work normally and do surgery left and right, while she, as others put it, dumb down into a mindless statue, as if she chose to be one. They had no idea she was trying to break free from her slump, trauma, or whatever they called it. She never wanted to appear frail or helpless, yet that's exactly what she's been lately. She tried to brush it off, like most of her friends, and go about her business as usual. Cristina kept going, trying to get back to her old self, but each time she tried, she became passive, frozen in the fear and doubt that had been clouding her mind lately. Every day was a grueling cycle, and Cristina could only hope that one day she'd recover, expecting each day that passed to be that day.

Keeping quiet in the background allowed Cristina to observe what was happening around her. Everyone was just pretending to be okay and was clearly one wrong step away from falling apart, breaking down, being labeled bat-shit crazy like her. Derek had this dangerous hobby, while Meredith continued to bury her trauma. Alex was sleeping with every nurse in the hospital, pretending Izzie's death didn't affect him, though he spent his nights crying in his sleep. Jackson's nightmares and temper issues seemed to worsen with each day. April appeared to be all smiles and giggles on the outside, but sometimes she became unusually silent, dazing away for a minute, eyes dark and empty, before the sparks in her eyes returned. Eric's burgeoning messianic complex continued, with her as his current target; and then there's Lexie.

Cristina had heard about Lexie freezing in front of the elevator, terrified of getting in. She hadn't seen it firsthand and didn't know anyone who could confirm it. Seeing Lexie appeared to be doing well, Cristina dismissed the rumor, but it prompted her to observe Lexie.

Lexie was shot during the incident, one of the shooter's target, and she acted as if nothing happened. Even Richard Webber added another AA meeting to his schedule but Lexie's still herself. She was oddly calm, acting like everyone's emotional life vest. Cristina almost considered Lexie and Eric's relationship as a symptom of Lexie's trauma, but who was she kidding? That was almost certainly inevitable. Even when they were playing the bully and the bullied, which seemed straight out of a rom-com script, the two clearly liked each other then.

Maybe Lexie was simply a well-adjusted person and Cristina might just be unfamiliar with that concept after experiencing so much trauma. Lexie moved on, as opposed to her, who had been struggling with something that had happened a month ago.

Cristina was about to drop her obsession, but then she spotted Lexie sneaking out of Meredith's house one early morning and every morning since. She initially thought Lexie was going to Eric's, noticing the same fatigued look on the attending's smug face, then she remembered Meredith mentioning Lexie's odd work shifts. Meredith thought she wasn't paying attention to what she was saying, noticing Cristina's usual dazed look, but Cristina was listening. That's the problem. She couldn't stop paying attention to everything, including her intrusive thoughts. Funny thing about doing admin work was that you get to access files a normal resident can't. Cristina peeked into the chief resident's PC one morning out of curiosity to find that Lexie had logged over 100 hours a week.

Lexie was overworking herself during the day and sleeping less at night, if she even slept at all. Judging by Lexie's increasingly disheveled appearance each day, she wasn't getting enough sleep. Lexie's becoming increasingly restless, and she's about to snap.

- - - - -

Yesterday - Tuesday Afternoon

Cristina was strolling through the main area of the Neuro wing when she noticed Eric hurrying towards the elevator staring at his phone.

"Hey!" Cristina called him. Eric shot a brief glance at her. She met his narrowed gaze with a shrug and asked, "What's going on?"

Eric sighed as he looked away. He stepped inside the elevator, motioned Cristina impatiently as he turned and held the door open.