Zuflucht

30

Fiona

It had been hours since we had been on the road. Both Curt and I took turns with the help of Richard who was supervised. I couldn't help but get more and more nervous, questioning myself if going to New York is really safe. Then again, I'll never truly be safe here. Everything everywhere is infected, and the survivors are what's left to try and hope to pick up the pieces.

I made sure Ash was asleep before I placed her against the car door rather than my shoulder. It was night time, and the gentle breeze blowing through the truck from the cracked window was nice compared to the humidity that kept continuously blowing away.

"How's it looking?" I asked Curt who was currently driving. We were somewhere foreign on the interstate, only miles upon miles of empty vehicles and stranded zombies littering the concrete.

"We're in Missouri right now. We'll be in St. Louis soon." His dark orbs flicked over to mine through the rearview mirror before they focused back on the road.

"Want me to take over soon? You've probably been driving for a while." I tried to imagine how long I had slept while he was still up.

"I've got it. Besides, you didn't sleep that long." Once again his dark orbs met mine momentarily.

"How long was I out?" My eyebrows knit together as I tried to focus and think.

"About thirty minutes. Richard fell asleep right after you did."

"Oh..." I mumbled in realization, not too surprised I didn't sleep good. It's rare when I do. Most remind me of my constant fear now days.

The truck fell silent, and I couldn't help but look out at the many concrete buildings and cars left unoccupied, wishing life was like it used to be. A trip like this would be amazing if it was under different circumstances.

"Did you ever do anything like this? Before everything fell apart?" He glanced back at me, although I wasn't looking back at him. My question looked like it shocked him. Probably because it did. 

"Do what?"

"Y'know, travel. Get out and go see places." My eyes followed a particular vehicle as it whizzed behind us, before I reset my eyes on another one. I don't know what made me be bold enough to ask random questions. Usually I stick to myself.

"No, I didn't go out much. I hardly traveled."

"Me too. I've never been outside of Colorado until just a few weeks back. Almost feels like forever ago." The truck fell silent, and for once I can say I didn't want it to.

"You mentioned your brother is in New York right?" He nodded once in the mirror, not breaking eye contact with the road.

"How come he got to leave Texas and you never did?" This time his orbs flicked to mine quickly as he hesitated to speak. It was like he wanted to calculate his words out correctly.

"He got into a college with a full scholarship and I didn't." He didn't choose to speak on the issue anymore, his face calm and collected. He would have given off the impression it didn't bother him if it wasn't for one of his eyebrows dipping down in annoyance lightly.

I went to ask him another question until he suddenly cut me off. "You sure do ask a lot of questions don't you." It was the I realized that I had been asking a lot of questions.

Oops.

His dark eyes reflected the yellow lines on the interstate as I no longer asked questions, opting more for silence to fill the atmosphere. This time it wasn't me who broke it.

"How did you end up in Kansas?" Curt's deep voice filled the air, almost like a gentle hum echoing throughout. His question had thrown me off guard, considering seconds ago they seemed to be a problem.

"Well, I guess I just wanted to find better for Ashanti. I got sick of hiding." He nodded his head lightly, accepting my answer.

"Yeah, I know what you mean."
It was then I realized I was having a full conversation with him for what seemed like the first time. It felt... different. It felt like my mouth had a mind if its own.

"What made you decide to leave Texas?" Whether he wanted me to or not, I immediately noticed him stiffen once I asked. His whole body tensed, which was unusual compared to his laid back personality.
This time he didn't speak for what felt like forever, rather than after just a few seconds.

"I'm going to find my brother. That's been my agenda since I left." A part of me felt he wasn't telling the full story, but I didn't press him any further. Instead I leaned back in my seat, looking out at the abandoned buildings and shops.

The air was quiet and moist, but it oddly felt comfortable. Inside my chest wasn't clutching in fear or my heart wasn't spiking from paranoia. I almost felt safe for once.

Almost.

"Y'know, I had Ashanti when I was in high school." My eyes flicked over and met his dark ones again in the mirror. Although he tried to hide it he looked shocked, but only for a second before his cool demeanor took over once again.

"O-okay." He stuttered, clearly not knowing what to say. I couldn't help the half-hearted laugh that lightly escaped my lips.

"Yeah, definitely not proud of that moment. My parents kicked me out and I started failing my classes,.but I didn't give up." I paused for a moment, suddenly asking myself what the hell I was doing and why I would just tell anyone that. Then I thought to myself: I could easily die tomorrow with no one knowing my story or knowing what accomplishments I've done in my life. What did it matter anymore? Shame is far out the window at this point.

"It's been only me and Ash for so long. She's truly all I've got. That's why I really hope going to New York is the right decision. I'm absolutely terrified I've sealed her fate for the worst." I glanced over at her calm sleeping form, completely oblivious to all the problems of the world. Momentarily anyways.

"You're not alone." He spoke out. "I'm worried myself, but I try to keep a good mindset. If one part of me is knocked down I'll start to crumble." He looked at me through the mirror, and suddenly it felt like his once strong exterior was gone. His eyes no longer looked cold or expressionless.

I almost thought he was done speaking from how long he waited to talk again, until his deep voice once again illuminated the vehicle.

"No matter what though... I'll do everything in my power to make sure your daughter is safe."