Never (A Percico Fanfiction)

I'm Sorry

Bringing a small smile to his face, the sea child found his boyfriend lying just where he'd left him, except he now had a pair of black earbuds in his ears and a book in his hand, both of which were acquired from the nightstand just to his left. He didn't seem to notice Percy at all as he dressed, eyes glued to his paperback copy of 1984.

Percy plopped down next to him in his faded cookie-monster pajama pants, plucking an earbud gently from the other's ear and inserting it into his own, peering down at the page Nico was reading.

"So, what're we listening to?" he asked, even though he could already tell. He knew Nico's playlists inside and out, by now.

"Centuries," the other said, eyes never leaving the page. Percy reached for the small MP3 player, turning the sound of Fall Out Boy up to a maximum.

Nico let his head loll over onto Percy's shoulder as he read, unable to move very much without pain but doing what he could to be close to his boyfriend. There was only a page and a half left in that chapter, and the two read together silently until it was through, though Percy struggled quite a bit with his dyslexic tendencies.

When they had finished, Nico shut the book, leaned his head more towards Percy, and closed his eyes. After a few minutes, he felt Percy's soft kiss on his forehead and opened his eyes as Percy started to sit up.

"Wanna get some sleep?" Percy offered.

"Sure," Nico told him.

Percy flicked the lights out around the room, coming last of all to the lamp at Nico's bedside table. "I can leave it on," he volunteered. "If you want."

Nico shook his head slowly. "I'll be okay."

"You sure? It's alright if you want it on."

Nico just shook his head again. "It's fine. Really. I'm not scared. I've got you to keep me safe."

Percy sighed, but smiled just the same as he shut off the light. Nico held his breath as he was shrouded in the loneliness of the dark. He relaxed again when he felt the depression on the opposite side of the bed, and then the familiar strong pair of arms pulling him gently in their direction. Percy tugged the smaller boy closer still until his head rested on his chest, knowing the comfort of a steady heartbeat on Nico. The smaller sighed, wrapping an arm across the other's waist.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too."

Percy kissed his head. His thumb moved gently back and forth along the smaller boy's shoulder. Nico snuggled into Percy's chest, feeling the safest he had all day. They lay like this for a while, and Nico stayed awake, just savoring the moment. Though he assumed Percy had fallen asleep already, after a while, a strangled whisper cut through the darkness.

"I'm sorry," he said, his tear-laced voice breaking. "I'm so sorry. I let you get hurt. It's all my fault. I shouldn't have let you leave without me." He was trembling, and Nico could hear the pain he was in.

"Shh," he whispered, scooting up as best he could. He could see the other boy's face now, tear streaked and quivering. "It's okay, Perce. It wasn't your fault. Just some bad luck, is all. I'm gonna be okay."

"I-I didn't think you were awake," Percy spluttered, embarrassed. He reached up to wipe his face, forcing the trembling in his body to stop. He couldn't let Nico see him like this. He had to be strong.

"Are you okay?" Nico asked, concerned.

"Yeah," Percy nodded, forcing a smile.

"Percy." The smaller boy brought his hands to the other's wet face. "Please don't lie to me."

Percy closed his eyes, leaning his cheek into the other's hand. He took a shaky breath, and then cursed himself for letting the tears roll down his face.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, apologizing for everything at once. For letting Nico get hurt. For letting him go through Tartarus alone. For Bianca's death. For taking so long to realize who he loved. He was so sorry. Always, so, so sorry. The feelings never left him; the regret, the sadness, the anger. Every time he saw the person he loved most unable to eat, or traced with his eyes the thin scars on his beautiful body, all he could think was, All my fault. Because it was. He'd been too stupid for too long, and he'd hurt Nico so much. But, even after all that time, the other boy still loved him.  "I'm so sorry."

"Shh," Nico cooed again. "It's not your fault. None of it was your fault."

"I-I just... I'm so sorry. For everything."

Nico was confused for a few moments, until the other's shaky hand crept to his stomach, fingers trembling as they traced the faded marks. The smaller boy moved his hand to cover Percy's, holding it tightly.

"Hey," he said. "You can't focus on that stuff. You've gotta focus on this." He pulled Percy's hand gently up, pressing it flat against his chest, just over his heart. Percy stayed like that for a long while, and, if he hadn't known better, Nico would have thought he'd fallen asleep.

"I love you," Percy whispered, and Nico could feel the other boy's face buried in his hair, hot breath on his scalp. He squeezed Percy's hand.

"I love you, too."

There were a few seconds of silence, before Percy spoke again.

"I'm not going to let anything hurt you," he said. "Never again. I'll die before I let you get hurt again."

Nico just nodded against him, tears welling in his eyes at the thought of how much his boyfriend cared. They lay that way for hours on end; Percy's hand on the other's pulse, Nico's covering it. This time, Percy really did fall asleep.

"It's okay," Nico whispered as time neared the wee hours of the morning, finally beginning to drift off. "It's all okay."

I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I KNOW IT'S BEEN A FEW DAYS BUT WE JUST HAD MIDTERMS AND HOMEWORK AND THIS WAS A FAIRLY LONG CHAPTER AND I LOVE YOU GUYS AND THANKS FOR READING AND KEEP DOING SO AND HOPEFULLY I'LL BE UPDATING MORE SOON.

BYEEEEEEEEEE

~AGreer