Delusional Squabbles - Saitama VS Touhou - One Punch Man X Touhou

Chapter 5: The Scarlet Devil (PART 1)

Our hero is still walking down the path with his stomach growling.
"Aw man, at this point I'm gonna end up starving to death rather than being caught." He rubs his stomach still walking in a straight line.
"Sakuya, how does throwing Flandre's birthday party sound?" The little girl asks the woman by her side.
"I think that would be wonderful mistress." The woman in maid clothing answers nodding her head in agreement to show validation.
"You know, I would usually have you go to that sorry excuse for a shop by yourself, but I wanted to see what it was like and it doesn't seem to be any different to the last time I went."
"Sorry to hear that milady, I will go there myself whenever you need me to."
"It's fine, at least I got my sister a birthday gift, I really hope she likes it."
"I hope so too, mistress." The two smile at each other and continue to walk.
"That tree looks great, I've got to eat it-" The man is interrupted by the voice of a little girl.
"Hey, what's a human like you doing here?"
"Huh, who said that?" The baldy looks around confused.
"Mistress, I think that man is the one with a bounty on his head." She points at the strangely dressed man.
"Really?" She mutters to herself and then thinks of an idea, "Hey wait, maybe we can use him as a gift for Flandre."
"Wouldn't that mean killing him?"
"It's fine, they said to eliminate the treat by any means necessary, so we have a gift for Flandre, a meal, and a reward from the old lady!"
"Ah yes, you're right, that does make sense and there are a lot of benefits to that."
"Yes, and he looks really weak so let us just focus on capturing him rather than killing!"
"You are very clever, mistress." She giggles.
"Well then, what are we waiting for, go and get him!" She points out to the bald man.
"Right away, mistress!" She says right before disappearing in front of her mistress.

"Hmm, I don't think I should really bother, I'll just continue walking-" Just as he was about finished thinking, he is trapped inside of a net with knives from all directions surrounding him, "Straight from a squabble to another." He breaks free of the net and escapes the knives through tiny gaps shocking the maid during the process, "I don't have time for this, who are you?" The glare he gave off made the woman back off a bit.
"I am Sakuya Izayoi, Chief Maid of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, and I'm here for-"
"The bounty on my head, yeah yeah, let's just get this over with already." He interrupts whilst clenching his fists, "And you don't seem to be alone, where's the other one?"
"Who, me?" The girl walks out from the fog and stands next to the maid, "I am Remilia Scarlet, Mistress of the Scarlet Devil Mansion."
"What's a child doing out here with their maid?"
"I'M NOT A CHILD!" She shouts at the man very loudly, but the hero is not convinced.
"You are, now get out of my way, I don't want to start a fight." He unclenches his fist showing that he doesn't mean trouble.
"Alright, Sakuya?" She sticks her hand out to the woman.
"Yes milady." She grabs the mistress's hand and takes a deep breath in, "Za Warudo! Toki yo Tomare!"

The world turns grey but them, they walk up to the baldy and stare at him.
"He looks like an idiot." The girl raises her creating a spear, "This is what you get for calling me a child..." She proceeds to throw multiple spears at him as the maid does the same but with her knives, "That should teach him to make fun of me, Sakuya!" Her maid turns her attention to her like a dog and its owner.
"Toki wa Ugokidasu..." The world goes back to normal and every thing begins to flow as the knives and spears approach Saitama at high speeds, responding to this he punches each and every single attack with his own.
"Consecutive Normal Punches." His fists were moving so fast that it looked like he had more than a thousand hands.
"He dealt with them, just like that." She acknowledges his ability.
"I'm getting annoyed, will you two stop already?" He says looking at them with a powerful stare.
"Hmm, maybe we could talk a few things out." She walks up to the hero,"Human, I have an offer for you."
"What is it?" He asks resting his hands.
"You come with us and we will give you a space in our mansion, a job-" She is interrupted by Saitama's stomach growl, "And food I guess."
"Food?!" His eyes glow up with excitement.
"Yes, now follow us."

Saitama follows the two arriving at their destination within an hour.
"That's a pretty big mansion." He states in awe.
"Isn't it!" The child replies.
"Stop right there!" A lady in Chinese clothing is seen in a fighting stance the same as that of a person riding a horse with their palm out, "Lady Remilia, that man over there is a threat and shouldn't be here."
"Don't worry, he's with us now."
"Oh, really?" She asked as the baldy, maid and mistress walk by her.
"We have this under control Meiling." The maid whispers into the gatekeeper's ears.
"A-alright."

—END—

Well that's it for Part 1, I think I might have messed up this last chapter but hope you guys can still understand it, no fight really happened here and they came to an agreement, the gatekeeper warns the mistress of the mansion but is then reassured that he is no threat to them, also, quite funny how he says that he wouldn't be caught but ends up practically getting caught, anyways, hope y'all enjoyed, have a good rest of the day, or night, see ya in some time!

[1001 Words]