I miss you

83 2 0

by N4tsbae

by N4tsbae

Y/n pov:

It's been 3 months and I finally got the courage to walk past her house. For the first month I couldn't even go anywhere near her block, then her street, then recently I would just go around the back, but I think it's time I stopped hiding, it doesn't help, it really only prolongs what's bound to occur.

My footsteps are heavy on the pavement not unlike the tears gathering in my eyes threatening to spill. The pavement I could walk with my eyes closed feels foreign without her. My eyes are downcast, finding sudden interest in the cracks beneath my feet. I come to a halt when I know I'm in front of her house, tearing my eyes from the ground I look at it. The sturdy white bricks that lined the exterior walls, the black tiled roofs that we used to climb onto, and the large windows we used to write messages for people on. I can see her back through the window. Sitting on the couch, probably reading a book. 3 months ago I was sitting there, cuddling with her on the other side of that glass. At this point the tears are irrepressible, they come streaming down my face. I don't know what prompted her to but she turns around and we lock eyes. For a split second, a pained expression appears on her face but I'm doubting the fact I saw it because she's now wearing an emotionless expression. She acknowledges me quickly and turns back to her book. This brief encounter was enough to trigger the volcanic emotions within me. Pain erupts from my chest and it takes everything I have at that moment to not drop to the ground. She can pretend she doesn't miss me, she can pretend she doesn't care but I can see her shoulders shaking through the glass.

I don't know what I'm doing but I'm dragging myself up her driveway, my fingers rubbing the necklace cold against my chest. I get to her door and take a breath before rapping my knuckles on the door. The tears don't stop, they are relentlessly rolling down my cheeks. I don't hear any movement so I knock again, my fists thudding on the wood. She ignores me again. My brain tells me to leave but my hands still banging on the door. Finally, I hear her get up and walk to the door. As she approaches the door my eye dart to my feet once again. I hear the clicking of the lock and the creak as the door opens.

"What do you want," she says, her voice blank and uninviting. I bite my lip in an attempt to stop the tears.

"I-",

I don't know what I was doing there, to be honest. But since I'm here I need to find something to say. I lift my head and my eyes meet hers and I know she's been crying. A second wave of emotions are on the brink of bursting. I want a hug, that's what I want. My eyes flicker to the necklace sitting on her chest. I gesture at it with my head.

"You're still wearing it," I whisper, something between a chuckled and a sob. She looks and her hand moves to it.

"mhm,"

The next few moments are silent as we both stand there, staring into the fogginess in each other's eyes.

"Can I hug you," I manage to say, my voice breaking. She takes a moment before nodding. I step forward and my arms wrap around her and the emotions flood out. No matter how much she tried to resist, her arms hold me tightly and the tears rush down her face. I missed this, the way her arms felt around me, how safe they made me feel.

"I miss you, Natasha," I sob into the crook of her neck.

"I miss you too, Y/n," she whispers, her voice whispy and uneven.

A/N: :)