Caffeine Withdrawals: An Unspoken Collaboration

A Cup of Coffee

I've written this in honor of the National Children of Alcoholics Week (Feb 10-16) :) I love you Dad, alcohol or none <3

- caffEine93 x

An Alcoholic's Daughter

I don't know what to say,

But I can feel the tears rolling down my face,

This is why I love poetry, every phrase,

Its words help keep my emotions tamed,

Our home was never a safe place,

Especially when Daddy would come drunk day after day,

I was his little girl, I loved him so much,

He was my hero, but he had a hateful touch,

He would scream, he would yell,

With his handgun everything became a living hell,

Years later, I still see its effects,

Daddy's wrath when the alcohol would overcome his strength,

Years later, I still cry time to time,

Wondering if I could've done something to make things right,

Years later, I sometimes catch myself,

Catch myself feeling defenseless just like I would when he'd yell,

I've asked myself countless times,

And I've looked for the answer deeply and hard,

What I could've done to stop Daddy from hitting Mom,

Perhaps things would've been different, they wouldn't be the same,

Mom wouldn't be gone, Daddy wouldn't still drink like he does today,

I was his little girl, but I kept my mouth shut,

I watched Mom take every hit like a woman, I never saw her cry,

Today, I still feel the alcohol's effect,

What, to my family, it did,

I see Daddy looking back at me in the mirror every time I punch a wall,

I would see him when I'd press a razor against my thigh, trying to escape it all,

He drinks, I would cut,

He "escapes" his problems, I take life as it comes,

I love him, he is my dad,

He is my hero, he is one of the reasons I'm alive,

The alcohol still is a problem,

An issue that has cost us so much,

But love is greater,

Love is kind,

I will wait for the day Daddy puts the beer down,

I will run into his embrace like the child I once was,

I'll wrap my arms tightly, my face buried in his chest,

I'll tell him that I'm proud, proud to call him my dad,

Tell him that I love him, I always have and I always will,

Because I love him with all my heart.