You Could Never Be

Chapter 1

"Thank you, Midzy!" said Yeji before giving a virtual air hug to her fans on VLive. "Good night. I'll see you guys tomorrow." She clicked the end button, and just like that she was alone in her bedroom again.

Yeji let out a big sigh and looked up at her bedroom ceiling. She saw a white ceiling above her, but inside her head- so many things popped in her mind. Yeji was so grateful for the life that she has. She is so thankful for being able to debut with her members, more like her bestfriends and sisters, as a K-pop idol. On top of that, she is under one of the biggest entertainment managements in Korea, JYP Entertainment. Even more, she has the greatest fans. Yeji cherishes Midzys. What more could she ask for? Nothing.

Despite of all the things Yeji is so thankful for, there is this little voice inside her head that tells her she is not good enough. This part of Yeji's life is so dark. No one in her life, not even her members, know that Yeji has these thoughts. People around her seem to see her as someone who is confident with so much talent. However, that's not what Yeji sees in herself.

"Yeji-unnie!" Yeji's thoughts were interrupted by Ryujin's appearance in her bedroom. "Want to eat ramen with me?" Ryujin's face was beaming with a big smile as she carries a big bowl of spicy ramen.

"Ah! Ryujin-ah! How do you always know when I'm hungry?" In fact, it was also midnight and Yeji always craves food around this time. Ryujin and Yeji were roommates during their first year as Itzy, and these two got to know each other so well.

"I just know you so well, Yeji-unnie." Ryujin handed Yeji a pair of chopsticks, and the two began to eat ramen. "I was watching your VLive. How do you always have time to meet with Midzys?" Out of all the girls, Yeji is most active online and always seem to meet with their fans the most. Yeji replied, "It always just makes me feel better. I feel like I'm just chatting with good friends."

They continued to eat until the whole bowl of ramen was finished. "Yeji-unnie, are you ready for tomorrow?" Yeji gave Ryujin a big smile. "I think so. I'm ready for our promotion again, and I think Checkmate has got to be my favorite comeback so far. Are you?" Yeji replied.

Ryujin replied, "I am so ready. I just can't wait to see Midzys in person again!" Because of the COVID-19 pandemic, Itzy has not been able to perform in front of their fans. This comeback will be the first time that they will get to perform in front of Midzys again.

Yeji said, "Me too." Yeji gave Ryujin a small smile and continued, "I feel tired, Ryujin-ah." Ryujin gave a worried look and patted Yeji's head and picked up the bowl and chopsticks. "I'm so sorry Unnie. It's so late and you've been so busy all day. I'll leave now so we can get some rest before our music video drops tomorrow."

As Ryujin was leaving her bedroom, Yeji said, "Good night, Ryujin-ah." Once she heard the door closed. Yeji looked up at the ceiling again and said, "I'm tired." Tears slowly started to build up in Yeji's eyes. The tears then fell down her cheeks.

Yeji is tired, but she doesn't think anyone understands the kind of tired she was feeling.