Mountain Love

Chapter 10 - Saturday

When I woke up. I was sleeping on top of Qualeb. I could feel his steady breathing. I felt a sense of calm at his breathing. I stroked his exposed face. This man finally opened up to me. He actually  revealed his face to me. That was such a tremendous act of trust and vulnerability and I felt incredibly honoured that he shared this with me. I couldn't believe how he thought that he was a beast. His scars really weren't that bad. It made me wonder who had hurt him this badly. I wasn't sure whether I should ask him or whether to wait for him to tell me.

I quietly got up and went to make food. We had slept through the morning and it was nearly time for lunch. As I was cooking, I was so content and happy, I had to pinch myself a few times to see if I was really awake.
Qualeb also loved me. Qualeb loved ME. I had liked Jack, but love? This is my time feeling love. I was so excited and nervous at the same time, I wasn't sure what to do next. I made quick lunch of mash and meatballs with gravy and peeked into the living room. Qualeb was still asleep. I loved seeing his face. It made me feel so special. He looked so peaceful and content, that I didn't want to wake him.
I loved how he had gotten me flowers last time so I thought I'd also get some flowers for the table. Since the kitchen door for the garden lead to some slippery stairs, I thought it would be wiser to go to the garden through the front door. I quickly grabbed my coat and put it on. As I was putting my coat on, I was admiring my man. My man. That just felt so right. I honestly couldn't believe my luck. I was just so happy I couldn't stop grinning as I grabbed my walking stick and went outside, closing the door as quietly as I could. The flowers at the front of the house were too stunning and I didn't have the heart to pick them. So I went to the back garden and chose a few flowers. I had to thread carefully as the floor was slippery and because of my cast. I was kind of bending and wobbling as I was picking the flowers.
All of a sudden I heard a loud bang. It made me jump and I lost my balance and I fell on my bottom right in the middle of the snow. I exclaimed as I fell and I called out for Qualeb. As I was struggling and without success to get up, I saw Qualeb come to me. He wasn't wearing his coat or shoes. He had tears in his eyes and he looked surprised. He stood there, barefoot, in the snow, looking down at me and staring.

"When you have finished staring can you please help me up? My bum is frozen!"

That woke him up from his trance and he quickly came over and helped me up.

"Why are you outside without shoes you idiot?" He just kept staring at me and then held on to me in a tight hug. All I could think about was the fact that he wasn't wearing shoes. His feet must be frozen.

"Please let's get inside. Your feet are going to be frozen soon. It's too cold. Come on baby."

I steered him towards the back door and he picked me up and carried me up the stairs and into the kitchen. I reached for the vase but Qualeb just carried on walking towards the living room. He slumped onto the sofa, whilst I was still in his lap. I was straddling him and looking at his face. He still had a tear in one of his eyes. I gently used my sleeve to wipe away his tear.

"Hey baby. What's wrong? Please talk to me. What's the matter?"

Qualeb was looking at me, at my eyes and then my lip. He quickly pulled my jacket off and put it on the floor. He grabbed my waist and pulled me closer to him. He rested his face in the nook of my neck and held onto my waist with both arms. I hugged him back, putting my hands around his back and soothingly stroking it.

After a while, Qualeb had calmed down and he leaned back into the sofa and to take a better look at my face. He finally gave me a tender smile.

"I'm sorry my angel. When I woke up I couldn't find you. I started to panic. I looked upstairs and then when I came down again I noticed that your coat and boot was missing. I thought you had changed your mind because you realised that you had made a mistake. I thought that you left me. I thought you didn't love me"

His eyes filled with tears.

"I kept thinking it was too good to be true. I thought... I thought..."

His pain was hurting my heart. I hugged him hard and then kissed him. I needed him to know how I felt. I kissed him to show how much he meant to me, how much I cherished and loved this silly man of mine.

After a while, we both broke apart from the kiss to get some air. I took his handsome face into my hands and I whispered: "I love you Qualeb!"

He gave me a quick kiss on my lips  and put his forehead on my forehead and whispered: "I love you my angel. I'm sorry for overreacting. It's just... I've been hurt before. I have been rejected and left before so I will keep fearing that I'm not worthy of love."

He took a deep breath and looked deep into my eyes. He continues, whilst stroking my back:" You know that fire, it showed me who truly cared for me. Like I told you, I went into the fire to save Emma and to protect her. I lost my fiancé that day in a way."

Qualeb paused and looked at me. He was in so much pain and I could see the sorrow in those beautiful eyes of him. I gave him a nod and a weak smile and he continued.

"Before the fire, my parents set me up with my fiancé. We were friends first and then we fell in love. Lily, my fiancé left me after the fire. She wasn't able to look at me and she told me truthfully that my face was revolting and disgusting. She couldn't bear to be with me. How could I blame her? I couldn't even look at myself. I am a disfigured and disgusting beast. She would coil when I touched her and she was scared. In the end, she had to flee to be happy. It hurt so much to see the person that I loved and cared for leave but I couldn't ask that of her. How could I ask her to be with me when I was so revolted by myself? I couldn't stay with my family and be a burden to them. I hated the disgust and fear that I could see in their eyes every time they saw me."

I kept stroking his back as he was talking. I gave him a kiss and wiped his tears away. He was vulnerable and opening up to me and I didn't know what I should say or do. I stroked his face and he leaned into my palm and closed his eyes. He carried on in a whisper now, tears trickling down his cheek into my palm.

"I tried taking my life at one point but Rose stopped me."

I gasped and he opened his eyes. He looked me into my eyes and carried on with a faint of a smile.

"Rose was feeling sad herself as she felt guilt that I got so disfigured and she was feeling indebted to me because I saved her daughter. She then got me this cottage so that I could be by myself. I knew it was either this life or no life. I'm worthless, at least if I had died someone could have gotten my organs or something."

He seriously meant what he was saying. I couldn't bear it. I hugged him hard, tears now streaming down my face in loud sobs. I couldn't believe my ears. My heart started pounding and I clenched my hands into fists. I got angry now.

"Don't say that. Please don't say that. You're not worthless. You are priceless."

I took his face in my hands again and wiped his tears away. I kissed his eyes and then his lips before I told him:

"I can't believe your fiancé did that. No you don't leave someone when things get tough. She should have stayed. You saved a little girls life. You needed your family! I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'm sorry they caused you so much pain. Let me tell you something now!"

I put our foreheads together.

"I love you and I am here for you."