Promised (Prince Ramses x fem! Reader)

Chapter 16: Waking up to their call

(Name's) POV:

I felt fingers gently graze my face and move some stray hairs away from my eyes, the feeling light enough not to stir me fully out of my sleep. After a moment there was soft warmth on my forehead, a familiar and sweet kiss. That felt like Ramses. As I opened my eyes, my growing smile faded when I woke up to nothing but an agonizing headache and feelings of nausea. I had that dream again, a reoccurring memory from the morning Ramses left for the campaign. I reckon my brain does this to me on purpose now, reminding me how much of a heavy-sleeping fool I was. Nowadays, I could hear a pin drop when I slept, not wanting to make that same mistake ever again. Even though I agreed to stay at the palace permanently when we were officially married, I couldn't bring myself to leave. I had my reasons to stay such as resuming my daily lessons with my ecstatic soon-to-be mother-in-law, but mostly so I could latch onto fragments of things that reminded me of Ramses.Whether it was the scents of the soap used for the linens that he smelled like, the garden where he proposed, or his bedroom, I tried to hold onto any little thing that made me feel closer to him. Especially my ring.

My mother and the Queen's optimism for his return and our wedding could get overwhelming at times, even though I tried so hard to find that spark they had instead of constantly feeling on edge every day. The only people who weren't overjoyed by the news were the priests, of course, bombarding me with their classic snide comments and off-putting behavior. They started to give me the feeling that they were planning something devious behind our backs, only amplifying my nerves even more. It had gotten so bad that even the sound of a door opening or closing makes my heart race, all of my being wishing he would walk right through unscathed and all in one piece. But it's been so long, that I've already lost track of the days. Even if he were to send a letter that he was alright, that would also take weeks for it to arrive as well. At this point, it felt like the anxiety of thinking of the worst would never leave me. No matter how hard I tried to bury it, there's nothing I can take to numb this pain-which, speaking of pain, right now I was quite sure I've gotten food poisoning.

Rushing out of bed, I ran to the bathroom and immediately hurled into the limestone toilet, all the contents of last night's dinner and bile burning my throat as I coughed. A cold sweat surrounded me as I began to tear up as I leaned on the wall, the painted hieroglyphics seemingly taunting me. It was a blessing the royal rooms had such spacious bathrooms, if I were stuck in the old shared bathroom my mother and I used, I would have gotten a claustrophobic attack as well. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, finding it hard to breathe as I squeezed my eyes shut. I was trying to retrace my steps, wondering if I ate anything spoiled...it honestly could've been the milk from last night. Then on a spiral of thinking about milk, then breast milk, then pregnancies, my heart dropped into my churning stomach. I remembered what Dalia was telling my mother and me about when she first got pregnant, during the early stages of her first trimester. She had the same symptoms as I did, nausea, the exhaustion, the headaches leading me to realize that this wasn't food poisoning.

This was morning sickness. The thought alone made me grip the back of my hair out of my face as I vomited again. I was now full-on panic crying. We were careful that night...well-we tried to be careful! Gods, I prayed that it was just a coincidence, or maybe I was still trapped in a big elaborate dream, but my chances seemed very slim. I was far too young to be a mother, let alone the mother of royalty. Above all, how was I going to have a baby of a Pharaoh who I didn't even know would return from battle!? I began ruminating about being a single mother Queen, thoughts of taking care of a little prince or princess without them ever knowing their father crushed me. They couldn't grow up like that. Even though it was only a possibility, I didn't know if I could handle that kind of hurt, having his baby without him ever getting to meet them. I trembled as I put my hand over my lower stomach, my vision blurred with tears as I fully grasped the severity of possibly having a growing life within me. I wish Ramses was here, I couldn't do this alone. The room seemed to spin as I kneeled onto the floor to ground myself, however, my surroundings began to fully black out and I couldn't grip onto this moment any longer.