In The Dark - {joshler au}

3. Cigarettes

Wait to start the song.

"So, are we hanging out today?"

Brendon's question shook Tyler from his thoughts, the younger boy smiling at him but shaking his head. "I actually have a day off today," he started as they walked to Brendon's car, "so I'm gonna try and catch up on some homework."

"Or some sleep?" Brendon asked with a cheeky smile.

"Or some sleep," Tyler agreed with a light laugh, climbing into the passenger seat of Brendon's black Nissan.

"So," Brendon started as he pulled out from the parking lot, "what do you think of the new kid?"

"Josh?" Brendon hummed, confirming Tyler's inquiry. "He seems like a cool dude. Think he's gonna be a good addition to the group?"

Brendon shrugged, pulling cigarettes out of his console and handing one to his friend. "Not sure yet," he said before lighting the stick and inhaling, blowing out a stream of smoke after. "He looks like a rich kid to be honest, though."

"Don't judge a book by its cover, Bren," Tyler said, inhaling and exhaling from his own cigarette. "You look like a rich kid, too."

Brendon laughed, turning onto the highway heading to Tyler's house. "That's just because I'm hot," he said as he drove. "Also because I live with my grandparents who are rich. You know this."

Tyler nodded, blowing more smoke from his mouth. "Yeah, yeah, I know," he said with a smirk. "How are they, by the way? Nonna still talk about how much she misses me?"

Brendon rolls his eyes with a grin as he takes a pull at his cigarette again. "Don't even play," he said, blowing the smoke out. "It's so weird that my Nonna loves my best friend more than she loves me."

Tyler laughs loud, beginning to grab his things as they get closer to his house. "Not my fault I'm not as bad of a child as you."

"Shut up, bitch," Brendon replies with a laugh in return as they pull up against the curb to Tyler's house. "I'll probably hang around in town for a while if you change your mind and wanna hang out."

"I might take you up on it after I take a fucking nap," the younger boy replies with a soft chuckle as he opens the car door. "If not then I'll see you tomorrow. Wanna pick me up?"

Brendon nodded as he finished his cigarette, tossing it into the ashtray. "For sure. I'll call you when I pass the railroad tracks."

"Bet," Tyler says as he does a handshake with his friend before exiting the car and trudging the short sidewalk to his front door. He tosses his finished cigarette toward the road before he walks in his front door, closing it gently behind him. "Momma," he called into the house, "you home?"

Getting no response, Tyler sighed to himself, turning into his room and dropping his backpack on the floor before heading back to the kitchen. He promised his mom he'd get the dishes done when he got home, because he figured she'd still be at work - which she was.

Start the song. It's Clairvoyant by The Story So Far.

He pulled off his black hoodie, hanging over the back of a kitchen chair and pulling out his phone to play music. He went to a playlist he had filled with some of his favorite songs (that sometimes make him cry, but we don't talk about that) and decided against pressing the shuffle button and went directly to a song. The sounds of The Story So Far filling the kitchen made him sigh gently as he placed the phone on the windowsill above the sink and began doing the dishes.

He sang to himself as he scrubbed the plates and cups, feeling himself settling into his normal headspace. He had to put on a front when he was at school, otherwise people would ask questions and try to send him back to in-school-therapy, even though he already saw a therapist once a week. When he was at home, however, he was allowed to feel however he wanted. He was allowed to be depressed without the fear of judgment, and he was allowed to internally fold into himself, not having to interact with anyone he didn't want to.

"This is your life, there's no way to run from it," he sang quietly to himself as he rinsed off another cup, "the doubt in your brain or the pain in your stomach..."

He felt his eyes softly burn with tears as he dropped another plate into the empty side of the sink to rinse, cursing himself internally. This song always - always - made him emotional, and sometimes he hated it, but he felt like he needed to let out some pent up emotion right now.

"I only have but one complaint at the moment," he sang wholeheartedly, feeling his hands shake as he started scrubbing silverware, "don't paint me black when I used to be golden..."

He felt a tear fall down one cheek, but he quickly dipped his head against his shoulder, wiping it away as he finished up the dishes and dried off his hands, grabbing his phone and heading right back to his room. He closed the door behind him, kicking off his shoes before falling on his bed with his phone in his hands. He started to scroll aimlessly through his social media feeds, pretty much just letting his brian settle before he could fall asleep. Just as he was about to set his phone on his desk, the device pinged with a notification from his Instagram.

He furrowed his brows, taking his phone back in bath hands and going to the app. He hasn't posted anything in a couple of weeks, so he's curious as to what the notification is for. When he goes to his activity feed, he feels himself chuckle slightly when he sees a follow notification from a user called 'spookyjim.'

Tyler clicked on the profile, instantly feeling himself smile when he saw selfies that put a face to the username. It was Josh, the new kid at school. His feed was full of selfies of himself, himself with a gorgeous golden retriever, and then aso of himself with people who Tyler assumed were either old friends or his family. The brunette boy hummed to himself before pressing the 'Follow' button, exiting the app and setting his phone on his desk as he originally planned.

He turned his music up as loud as it would go before turning onto his other side facing his closed and shaded window, closing his eyes and letting the ever present darkness in his mind lull him to sleep.