9. Ashamed

24 6 9
                                    

Trigger warning:
Mentions of an abusive relationship
Mentions of casual sex
Mentions of sex shaming




Tyler was trying not to be weird around Josh. He was trying so very hard.

It was now Friday and the boy was at work, trying to keep himself as busy as he could to keep his mind off his curly headed friend. Since the drive home Monday night after the almost-kiss incident, Tyler's been realizing just how attractive Josh is to him. From the way he noticed how his brown eyes shine in the sun to the way his fingers glide across the slight bump in his nose when he pushes his glasses up on his face, Tyler knows he's in trouble. He likes having Josh around and he wants to keep him around, but he's so scared that if he makes a move or they hook up, there's a chance that could all go away. Josh could go away.

He curses slightly to himself as he feels a slight burn on one of his fingers, realizing he'd accidentally sliced it on a knife he was washing while deep in thought. Pulling his hand out of the sink, he walks over and grabs a wad of paper towels to dry his hands and inspect the damage. "You've been in your head all day," his manager, Mary, says to him. "What's on your mind, T?"

Tyler looks at her softly but shakes his head. "Nothing important," he says with a tiny smile. "You mind if I go out back for a smoke real quick? I just need to get off my feet for a minute."

Mary dismisses him with a soft wave of her hand as she smiles back at him. "You know I don't mind. But, if I may say, if it's making you feel like you can't pay enough attention to wash a couple of dishes, I think it's kind of important to you."

"Yeah," he mumbled as he grabbed his jacket and started to walk out of the deli, "maybe."

*****

At the end of his shift, Tyler said goodnight to his manager and walked outside to call his mom to come and pick him up. The worst thing, he's realized, about being 18 with a job and no license is that he doesn't have his own car anyway and has to rely on others to get him to and from work and school. Not only does it annoy him and make him feel sort of like a loser, but it also makes him feel like a burden to those around him. He tried to shake the thoughts away as his mom answered the phone, a softness to her voice as she said "Hi, honey. What's up?"

"Hey, Momma," the boy said as he walked around to the side of the building and pulled out his cigarettes. "I'm off work, can you come get me?"

A brief silence followed his question before his mom swore lightly under her breath. "Tyler, baby, I am so sorry, but I picked up an extra shift today. I forgot to look at your schedule before I accepted the shift. Is there anyone else that could come pick you up?"

Tyler felt his heart sink. Not only was there no one else he could call, but it was already nearing 10 pm and that was not a walk he was ready to make in the dark. "That's okay, Mom," he mumbled, almost entirely disheartened. "I'll figure something out."

"I really am so sorry, baby," his mom said again, and Tyler could hear the sincerity in her voice. He wasn't exactly mad at her because he knew she had to work to make money, he's more just upset because he has to depend on her and she's not always available.

"It's okay, Mom," he repeated. "Have a good night at work. Love you." He hung up before she could respond, and he knew he was going to be beating himself up for that later, but right now, he needed to figure out how to get home.

"Ty?"

The voice sent shivers down his spine and he squeezed his eyes shut momentarily, letting out a long breath before turning and facing Josh. The man had a couple of grocery bags in each hand, meaning he had probably been in the store when Tyler was leaving and he just hadn't noticed. Swallowing what little bit of his nerve that was left, he managed a smile. "Hey, J. What's up?"

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⏰ Last updated: Nov 20, 2024 ⏰

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