DESIDERIUM

Hiding Away

Loki had not been able to see you for weeks. You avoided him like a plague. He sent letter after letter, request after request to meet with you privately when he had time. Many times he would spend half an hour pounding on your chamber doors, sending maids in to announce his presence, and never once did you open them. The night after your last conversation, at the evening feast celebrating his return, his betrothal to the Princess Bergdis was announced, and that the royal wedding would be held in 2 months time. The kingdoms rejoiced in uniting Vanaheim and Asgard through royal lineage.

Everyone was thrilled with the news, especially King Odin. Patting Loki on the shoulder, evening uttering the words "Well done, son". Loki had waited his whole life to hear his father's praise, yet now they sat sour in his stomach. He was doing what he was meant to do for the throne and country yet as each day passed, and wedding planning took place he felt more and more pieces of himself crack. Like he was being encased in shadows of his own doing. He could not reveal his true feelings to any one, especially his betrothed. He had not even been able to spend much time with her, as she was sent with historians and planners, learning the ways of Asgardian traditions and arranging the wedding.

In his heart of hearts, he knew it wasn't the princess's presence he was in need of. Even his mother's usually calming aura did nothing to soothe the ache in his chest. Had he truly done the right thing? He knew he accomplished his duty to the King and realm, so why wasn't he satisfied? Loki did what was expected of him as a prince. He met and fell in love with a princess. Granted it wasn't the all consuming kind of love he had hoped for in his life, but he knew that would never be the case. There was only one, who had consumed him in such a way, and that would never have been able to be anything more. You are everything to him, did you not know that? Had he not spent many nights telling you that, SHOWING you that? How could you discard him so easily, without a word as to why. He NEEDS to talk with you, explain everything but you won't give him the chance.

All the letters he poured his heart into, the hours at night he would spend sitting at your door begging you to open to him. Nothing. He just needed to be close to you again, he ached to be within a mile of your light, your smile. The smile that was always only reserved for him. Where in the nine's had you gone?

His answer was made clear the night before his wedding, when Thor and the Warrior's Three took him to a local tavern for his stag party. Sitting at a table in the back with his mug of Asgardian mead, he heard the most beautiful voice beckon his attention in the corner stage at the front of the room. A hauntingly broken angelic voice began to sing, and he knew. He would recognize that voice out of anyone in existence.....it was you...

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Weeks had passed since you last spoke to him. HIM. You couldn't even let his name pass your thoughts, or it threatened to undo all the damage you spent time repairing. No piece of your soul would ever be back in its proper place, but this would have to do. The day after speaking to him, you moved out of the palace, and back into your family cottage on the outskirts of Asgard. You needed to put as much space between you as possible for now. Arriving home unannounced, your father was shocked but overjoyed to have your presence once more. You asked him to send word to your mother's family in Alfheim to arrange a suitable marriage for you. He quickly sent word, happy that you had finally decided to settle down with a suitor. He knew of your love with the prince, and it broke his heart knowing you and the prince could never be more than a secret. His daughter didn't deserve to be held in the dark, her light too bright for that, he told you that evening.

You cried in your father's arms, knowing he understood your broken heart, and held no judgment in your love for the prince. It broke his heart to see his most precious girl, so broken by the cruelty of unrequited love. He knew the prince loved you just as much, but was bound by duty to the throne.Hhis duty over true love, was his mistake to choose. He had heard of the prince's suspected betrothal announcement the moment word spread of him escorting the princess of Vanaheim here.