DESIDERIUM

You stand frozen, never having heard him use that tone with you before. You felt like your body was on fire, and submerged into ice all at once. How did everything come down to this? Why did it feel like your love was cursed by the Norns themselves, and blessed by them all the same? Nothing in this life made sense, and just when you felt you had righted your world into a new kind of normal it all came back to slap you down once more.

"Yes, your highness" you mumble out as you force your eyes up from the ground and take in the man before you.

The wall inside you had to carefully build came crashing down with such force and sound that you could hear the rushing fall, and feel the weight collapse inside of you. He looked to mirror exactly how you felt as well. Never had he looked so torn apart, even when he learned of his Frost Giant heritage did he seem so shattered. Was this because of you? How could he possibly know this pain, when he was the one to cause it?!

"I asked you a question, Y/N! Is this where you hid away too after we spoke at your chambers? Why? WHY!!! Why did you leave?! Without a single word! Not a single utterance or letter of notice to me. Me, who was supposed to be your dearest friend! I have sent letter after letter to your chambers, spent night after night pounding away on an empty chamber door, demanding your presence, yet never received no answer. Now I know why! You left! Running like a coward into the night, with no care but to yourself! You might as well finish the job and carve my heart from my chest here and now! Finish the job, Y/N! You did not have the courage to speak with me, or to hear what I needed to discuss with you!" he moves directly in front of you, his green eyes ablaze with anger, but most of all pain, summoning his dagger and thrusting it into your hand.

Deep, echoing pain danced in his eyes, like none you had ever seen them hold, but knew well. It was the pain that echoed inside of you as well. His chest heaving with each breath as if he could not draw enough air inside of him. You see his body shaking as if he was holding himself back, or doing his best to stand up right before you.

How dare he act as if this was all your doing! Damn him!!! How dare he act as if you were the one to cause his pain, when it was his own doing! You left because you had no choice! Would he have preferred you stay there to coddle him, act as if nothing would change?! Watch him as he loved, and married another while your heart lay dead at his feet?! No!!! If you hadn't left, norns knew what the darkness would have whispered to you when you were alone. It whispered many dark thoughts on those cold, painful nights. You glance down at the dagger he thrusted in your hand, sickened to your core. Cut out his heart?! He is crazy, because the only heart cut out here was yours! You throw the dagger down the alleyway as you do something that shocks your entire being. You reach your hand up, and slap him as hard as you can across the face.

"HOW DARE YOU! How dare you come to me like this, on the eve of your wedding acting as if it was I who caused this! As if it were my choice, the way everything has played out as it has! Don't you dare try and shame me for doing what I had to, to keep myself alive! I did not need to hear whatever you wanted to discuss, as I knew the moment I saw HER astride behind you on your stead, escorting HER into the palace. Smiling at HER as you helped HER down, wrapping HER into your arms, and kissing HER temple!!!! I may not be of such high noble birth, but I am NO ONE'S FOOL! You leave for 2 months and come back with a fiancee'! How did you think I would feel, huh? Overjoyed for you, like everyone else? NO! I dressed for you that day, wore your favorite green dress, did my hair the way you loved and waited anxiously outside with everyone for your return as I had always done! Yet, the moment I see you, I see you have not just returned home, but returned to rip apart my soul as well!!! To not even have the decency to tell me or write to me about you finding your precious princess!!! Yet you stand here, as if it was I who came home with another, engaged to be wed! You have no right to be angry with me for how I chose to save myself and fix what you broke!" you shout back as you let everything you had built up over these past months flow out and at him.