Always with you (Dreamnapfound)

Chapter 13

T/W - PLEASE READ THIS, yeah so panic attack, anxiety, and SH mention please proceed with caution

Dreams POV

   The first thing I notice when I wake up is that I'm cold. No arms are around me and the blankets have been curled up by my feet. I sit up, looking around the room, finding it empty.

   My stomach grumbles and I realise I haven't eaten all day, but when I hear Sapnaps loud laugh down the hall I can't bring myself to get out of bed. Sapnap and George left after our conversation and are having fun without me. I understand it, even if they said they had feelings for me I've still fucked things up and they may not want me right now. It's a dumb thought, but my chest still seizes up and I feel tears brought to my eyes.

   I feel so useless in the moment, the inability to control my anxiety lately has been horrible. I haven't had many problems since Freshman year and the panic attacks now seem to be worse. Everything in me still says that I've messed it up with my best friends, that they've only said they still love me because they feel bad. I know I hurt them, and I'm a bad friend, no one would want me after all I've done.

   I pull my legs to my chest, laying my head on my knees and I hiccup out a sob. The dehydration from my hangover and all the crying I've been doing has kept my headache around, worsening more through my labored breathing. In a moment of weakness I decide to reach towards my bedside table, opening the drawer and pulling out the pocket knife that's kept there. With blurry vision I flip the blade open and cautiously run my finger over, pricking the skin.

   "Dream?" A timid voice asks. I must have missed the door opening.

   I stare at the two boys in my doorway, trying to blink the tears out of my eyes, only succeeding to let out another loud sob. Footsteps lead up to my side until the knife is carefully taken from my grip and a pair of small arms wrap around me.

   "You left," I choke out, "I thought you didn't, that's you didn't want me."

   "Dream," Sapnap says softly, "We went to grab dinner. We didn't think you'd wake up."

   "We'd never just leave," George adds, "we still want you, that's not gonna change in just a few hours."

   I don't respond, letting out another sob. Feeling absolutely useless, I pull Sapnap into the hug, I can't believe I thought they would actually leave. I'm letting my head get the best of me.

   "Why can't I control it?"

   "What do you mean baby?"

   "I feel so useless," I whisper, "I can't control my anxiety anymore and I always think the worst. I almost ruined my friendship and chance with you because I couldn't talk to you. I'm so fucking dumb."

   The arms around me tighten, "You're perfect Dream."

   "I'm sorry."

   "Shh, Dream, there's nothing to be sorry about."

   "Can we go watch a movie or something? For a distraction?"

   I feel the pair pull away, Sapnap grabbing both my hands, "of course we can, but we need to talk first."

   "Again?"

   "It's nothing bad Dreamy," George comforts me, "Just about us."

   "Us?" I whisper, "what about us?"

   "Dream, we want you to be with us," Sapnap smiles, "I know a lot has happened but we think it would be best to try this out, take things slow, but still be together."

   I look back and forth between my two friends, "together? You mean like.."

   "Boyfriend's? Yes."

   "But," George adds, "I think you also need to talk with your mom and find a therapist, maybe get back on your meds."

   "Okay," I remove one hand from Sap to grab one of George's, "I can do that. I want you two to not have to worry about me so much."

   "I can take it," Sapnap smiles, "I've already got to deal with George's issues, what's one more?"

   "Hey!"

   George jumps onto Sapnap, beginning to wrestle him. Sap easily wins, pinning George to the bed, smiling down at him, "Did you really think that would work?"

   "You're mean," I can't help but smile at George's blush.

   Sapnap leans down to kiss George, when he pulls away the brunette whines for more.

   "No, you attacked me," Sap turns to me, "can I kiss you?"

   "Yes."

   Sapnap is on me the second the word leaves my mouth, pressing into me. Before pulling away, I feel ivory teeth catch my bottom lip.

   "Okay guys, I think it's time for that movie."

   Both Sapnap and I laugh at George's pout, but I smile, "I'm down for a movie. I can cuddle with my best friends again."

   Sapnap shoves me, "wow downgraded back to best friends already? Did that kiss mean nothing to you?"

   "It meant everything."

   When the three of us cuddle up on the couch, Sapnap and George on either side of me, for once I can calm down and let myself love them. Even when they start fighting, testing me around, I'm involved and laughing along with them. We've got a lot to figure out but I know as long as we're together we can get through anything

...

A/N - Hey guys! I think this is going to be the end of the story. I don't really have the motivation for it anymore as I've got a lot of things to figure out. I just graduated a week ago and I've got a long marching band season to get through before working my ass off for a month and then moving states to be with my partner. I might post shorter stories or one shots from time to time or even some original stuff but I've got a lot to focus on now. I appreciate everyone's support on this series and hope you all enjoyed!