𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘢𝘤𝘬 | 𝘺𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘦! 𝘬𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘪𝘬𝘢 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

18 | 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘭𝘺

.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙warning: thoughts of suicide *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙·͙.

⁺✧𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦, 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨
𝘐 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶
𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵⁺✧

The pitter-patter of the rain interrupted me of my train of thought. The sound of the blanket filled the empty room as I sat up in our bed. The dark circles around my eyes were obvious and I looked miserable, Neon on the other hand looked like she was having the best rest ever.

I swear I've done this before. This cycle just keeps repeating and repeating, is my life really that fucked up now? Why is this happening to me?

Another sleepless night, the only thing that made me the slightest bit of sleepy was how exhausted my eyes felt after crying so much. There were only two people in my life that I could rely on now, but I've bothered them way too much.

Getting out of bed, I decide I want to take a trip to my family's gravestones. It had been a few weeks since they passed, I still haven't gotten over it. I do have a somewhat dysfunctional family, but my siblings are alright.

Changing my clothes, too lazy to shower, I quietly make my way down the mansion that belonged to Light Nostrade. I slip on my shoes and grab an umbrella, making my way to the nearby graveyard.

After a very long amount of time passes, I finally end up at the graveyard, I quicken up my pace as I try to find my siblings gravestone.

It took awhile, mostly because I forgot where they were located, but I found it.

I stare at the curve-shaped stone.

How could staring at a rock make me wanna cry so bad?

"I hope whoever did this to you is rotting in hell." I trace my fingers over the carved in words, feeling my entire body start to heat up.

Holding back tears, I tried to ignore the tingling sensation throughout my entire body. My eyes trail over to my brothers tombstone. I move over to sit in the middle of the two.

"I'm sorry. I really wish I could've been in the car so I could've died with you guys, at this point I don't even want to be alive anymore. Why is so much happening to the people I love, why can't it just be me for once?" My fingers dig into my knees as I bring them up closer to my chest.

I sat there in silence, except for the calming sound of the rain.

"Do you guys remember that one time on the Fourth of July? As usual, dad was busy so he shut us out of his study for like, the entire day. I remember how I treated you, sis, you wanted to take me out but I was too scared of the fireworks so I was being a brat and cried. Later that night I started crying again because I wanted to go out to see the fireworks, but I was still scared. You guys came outside with me and held me while we watched the fireworks together, do you remember that?"

Silence. That's how it continued for the rest of my time there, I spoke and was only greeted with silence.

"Do you remember that one time on Christmas the power went out so you stayed outside for hours with me in the snow, even tho you hated it, brother?"

I laughed as I felt myself starting to loose it, tombstones sat in the place of where my siblings would be, but to me they were still there, just sitting in complete silence.

"That time the three of us visited mom in the hospital and you spilt her gravy all over your new dress, sister! ...oh yeah...she's gone too." My playfully manner quickly disappeared as I was met with reality.