Pill By Pill {Muke}

9 - Doubt is in the Air

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. ~Langston Hughes

Luke's POV

"Well?" I asked after a moment of silence.

"There's been a bit of a change." Ashton shrugged. "Sure, we don't like smoking but I think we've been convinced to think that you're not all that bad." Ashton's eyes wandered over towards Michael.

Of course, Michael. Nice and happy, seeing the good in everyone. But I was indeed the same way. After all, not all of my hope for Kody had yet faded.

"I see." I spoke and stood up, moving to enter the school. Skarlet pulled back on my sleeve though, wanting me to stay here a short period longer. Part of this still seemed off to me. As if I could not quite believe that Ashton and Calum were standing in front of us. So I said the one thing that came to mind.

"I need a smoke." I grumbled as I walked down the steps and off of the school property. I did not want to be caught smoking there.

While leaning against a pole I took out a cigarette and lit the end with a dark blue lighter. Breathing in the death, and out the smoke. I turned to my left to see Michael walking towards me. He reached towards my cigarette but I pulled it away, knowing what he would do, and instead blew the smoke up in his face. He coughed and fanned it away.

"Don't touch my cigarettes." I said calmly as Michael glared at me.

"You shouldn't be smoking."

"Oh really?"

"Does your mother know you smoke?" Michael asked, folding his arms as if he had got me. Like he would pull that 'I can tell her' move.

"Not like she would give a damn if I did." I rolled my eyes. "My parents don't have enough time to even tell me the time. Nonetheless lecture me about bad habits."

"Well then I can lecture you all you want." Michael smiled. As a response I blew more smoke into his face. "Okay seriously?" Michael let out a groan as he waved it away. "You may not mind smelling like a goat's bottom but I do."

"That's why I carry around gum and cologne." I smirked as I reached in my bag and pulled out both. "I do mind."

"That's so disgusting.." Michael grumbled. "Just stop smoking for once."

"Oh screw you!" I scoffed. "Acting like you understand that I can't just put a cigarette down! It doesn't work that way!"

"It's gross!"

"Like I don't know!" I yelled. "Cause I do know Michael! I very well do know! Smoking is very gross! But it keeps me calm and makes me happy and I don't have a lot of that in my life. So if something is offered up to make that happen, why would I deny it?"

"Cause it can kill you!"

"I don't care if it does!" I screamed. "I could die right now and not give one care. And do you know why Michael?"

"Why is that?" He sighed.

"Because my parents don't have time for me. Everyone thinks I'm just a druggie scumbag. The only reason I have any friends is because I made friends with a kid who likes to beat me up when he doesn't get his way!" I snapped. "Now if you're going to come lecture me, please don't. Because you don't understand. So I don't want to hear about it."

"Why do you keep assuming that I don't understand?" Michael asked.

"Do you?" I replied sarcastically. Michael nodded his head. "Oh, then please tell me all about it!"

"Then stop being a little snot!" Michael snapped at me. I let out a sigh and flicked the burnt end of my cigarette off before gesturing for Michael to continue. "Both my parents were smokers."

"Lots of people are -"

"Luke let me finish." Michael groaned.

I let out a sigh. "Alright, sorry. Continue."

"Both my parents were smokers since they were in high school. My dad died a year after as I was born because he had throat cancer. Cause he smoked." Michael said. "My mom died a couple years ago of lung cancer." I went wide eyed. "So now does it make sense that I would tell you to not smoke? Does it make you feel better to hear that?"

"So..You're like an orphan?" I asked.

"No I live with Ashton and his family." Michael sighed. "Did you not understand what I just said."

"You're just telling me what I already know." I said. "Alright, sure. I'll admit. You do understand some things about smoking. How does that story, effect me though? And I'm not just trying to be a jerk, I want to know."

"Why would you give yourself the chance to be dead, when it hurts the people you leave." Michael said. "Especially over such a dumb thing. A stick of tobacco?"

I shook my head slowly as I dropped the cigarette and crushed it beneath my shoe. "You really think that I just smoke cigarettes, huh?" Michael nodded slowly. "Trust me. A pipe is much nicer. But in public, I don't get a choice of what I take. And alcohol is also fantastic. But I can't go drinking before school."

"I get it." Michael sighed. "Why can't you just listen to me though?"

"Because it doesn't mean anything." I said. "In my eyes, you're just another kid. Just another kid who is telling me that smoking is bad. I shouldn't do drugs, it can kill me. Well frankly, I don't give a damn what it does. If I did, I wouldn't have started in the first place." I took a step closer to Michael. "And honestly, I would rather have my parents be dead then ignore me the way they do."

Before Michael could speak I shoved past him. Walking towards the school as I popped a stick of gum in my mouth and headed towards the doors. I could tell that Michael was following me but I did not really care that he was. I also did not care that Skarlet and Barbie were calling me to come sit with them. I just wanted to get this day done and over with.