Reading Between the Lines

Chapter 5: Lucidity

...we have a problem.

"Damn it, stop looking over here!" I mutter as I stupidly try and hide my head in a book. Abhi is here in the library, coincidentally trying to find a book in the EXACT place I'm sitting! I did notice some dude squatting and trying to find something, but I didn't know it was him until I heard his relaxing voice as he asked one of the library aides a question. Every time I think I'm in the clear, he keeps looking around the shelves, walking towards my area, and circling back.

The college library has become my new "everywhere" spot. I eat lunch, I study, I Facetime, and I can do way more. And it's no wonder! With skylight beaming down from the ceilings, 6 floors of endless books, and the ever-so-slight aroma of pumpkin pie, it's the dark academia setting of your dreams. Literally, because it has actual floating stairs and there's a machine on the 3rd floor where if you type a book or genre that you want, the tiles PHYSICALLY MOVE YOU to the shelves.

I got used to the mystery here, somehow. Even though I'm still curious by the deal with Hillmore, it's massively outweighed by just how awestruck I am. I can't believe my luck, that I not only got into a program like this but also that it's in this out-of-this-world magnificent school. I can't believe we've achieved such technological and academic feats that buildings like these actually exist. I could've suffered way less.

But two things can be true at the same time. I can think this place is awesome and still also want to know what's going on. I HATE being this clueless despite how long I've been here. 

Thanksgiving break is soon, yet despite a month and nonstop Google searches, I'm nowhere close to an answer. The only upside was that I had no one from the group ever see me. Just having them know that I'm onto them would be soul-crushing for them after all they've done for me. And for the most part, it's been good. No problems.

This time, I've been spotted. I knew I should've sat in the fold-able flower petal seats. At least NO ONE would see me in those.

Abhimanyu Sathyamurthy, please do me a favor and don't come here. Please? I've been doing a good job of keeping my distance from you this past month. Let's keep this up for some more time, shall we?

He eventually picks up a book and gives a smile and says some words to the library aide before he walks away. Under my stupid hiding spot, I notice his eyes scanning the space around me. His gaze shifts to my area, but I guess I'm not quick enough to cover my face because his eyes lock directly onto mine.

I didn't expect him to talk to me, honestly. After all, I don't think I've had a proper conversation with the group since I've been avoiding them. Sure, I see Tushi and Vinnie in Biology, and I wave at the others on my way to classes, but besides the occasional small talk, there is almost no interaction.  I don't eat with them at lunch, send texts as dry as the Sahara, sit away from them in class, don't hang out with them, and don't even go near them anymore.

Surprisingly, he gives me a soft smile and waves at me. His light brown eyes shift from my flustered expression to my hair, probably looking at the book on my head. He then raises an eyebrow and stifles his laughter as I take it off my head sheepishly.

The book idea didn't work out, turns out.

He looks back at the door for a second and turns his head back to me, giving me one last wave and a smile. Normally, if he ever saw me outside lunch or the Kroft building, he would always approach me to talk. But instead, he looks away and leaves, not turning back once. I watch him leave the area and go down the levitating spiraled staircase and wave at someone who's coming up.

 I know this is the right thing to do, but why do I hate it so much? I just needed some time alone to figure my shit out, not lose my friends. It stings.