Words I Want To Say To You

Confession

Hello! It's me, and I suppose you already know who I am because I am the only person you know who is doing this. I'm not sure what will happen after this confession, but I hope we're still on good terms, so Ericka, I want you to experience the sweetest thing I've ever done for you, this is the first time I wrote a letter to someone I like, to a girl who makes me feel excited every single day and help me to grow as myself, can I transport you back in time and make you my binibini just for a moment?

So, first and foremost, I want to thank you for coming into my life; you are the light that shines and change my darkest life, you're the only one who makes me feel like I'm experiencing all types of emotions every single day; every time that I talk to you, I always ask myself, "What kind of sensation is this?" Is this the feeling that we refer to as love? Or is it just an exhilaration because I feel so at ease talking to you? I'm not sure how you feel when you talk to me, but the sensation I'm having right now is like when someone has a butterfly in their stomach, yep that type of thing.

Remember the 16th of March? I know we met in February, but this date is so important to me because it is the date when I began to share my personal life with you, the date when I made you cry, and you even said that I always succeeded in it, which I didn't mean to do. If this letter reaches you and you cry again, I promise that this is the last time.

I'm not sure when this occurred, but I discovered that when that time came, I already attached to you. You're the one that puts me at ease when it comes to discussing some of the challenges and problems we've been dealing with. I enjoyed it when you started telling me about your story, and I consider myself to be one of your safe havens; you're the strongest woman I've met in my life after my mom; you tackle a lot of obstacles on your own, fighting for life and for the future, and I'm so proud of you.

Let's move on to March 29, when this date arrived, I was so sad that no one would greet me, but here you are the first person who greeted me, but that's not what I'm referring to, I'm referring to when you're at a hospital that time, I remember you saying that there's someone who makes you cry while talking about depression, I felt so worried and scared that time and I thought it was because of me, So I've promised myself that I'll check in with you every day, asking "how are you?" "How's your day?" "Is there anything wrong?" "What's wrong?" so I don't overthink things and become hard on myself because I'm worried, and every time you rant about what's going on in your life, I wish I could hug you right now.

All i know is i admire you, but I'm terrified to admit it. Either we're growing uneasy and won't talk to each other, or I'm just not ready yet. When some of your friends tell me to confess already since there's someone who wants you back and another one who likes you too, I put a lot of pressure on myself to think of the best thing that I can do because it's a choice between taking a risk and losing a chance. What am I against to a person who can come to your house and see you and to a person who knows you better than I do? One of the reasons why I can't confess is because I don't want to keep up with those two; we're both stressed out about school and we're coming to the final stage of schooling and it give us a lot of pressure, work, stress and problems to be facing in and need to focus first because it is all about thesis defense and training, you didn't get enough of sleep and always tired and I don't want to keep up with that, i understand every situation that you're in but please promise me to keep yourself safe as always (mental health first) let's drink togerther after we graduated. I couldn't confess through messenger because i found it weird and i'm scared that we're getting uncomfortable to each other after that, therefore I wrote you a letter in which I can write and explain my feelings without feeling weird and this is how and my way to confess.

I'm also not sure whether this is my last message to you, but I hope not since I want you to be the first person to know anything that happens in my life. What else? It's the first time I've felt this happiness, and it's all because of you; there's always something exciting about every conversation I have with you, and I want to see your name every time I check my phone when I get up and before I go to sleep