This Love (Belly's Version)

Summer 8

Mostly everything went back to normal after me and Jocelyn kissed. But not completely.

"Your warm."

My nose rubbed against the side of Jocelyns, our mouths inches from each other's. Her eyes were looking directly into mine. We both had wide smiles on our faces. It was late at night again. We had spent the day in the house, just the two of us. My mom and Susannah had went shopping and the boys went to go hang out with Clay. It was just us. We hadn't kissed again. We wouldn't dare to do it outside of my bed. But our hands were all over each other. We were always touching one way or another. I laid my head in her lap while we watched the morning cartoons. She put her arms around my waist and laid her head on my shoulder while I poured us cereal. We shared a beach chair while we swam after eating lunch.

"You smell nice."

Jocelyn kisses the tip of my nose and lays her head back down on the pillow. Her curls glow in the lamp light and her skin was smooth under my touch. I didn't know what this was. We were closer then friends now. But I loved Conrad. I still loved his smile and he way he always secretly looked out for me. I loved how comfortable he made me. I liked him because I like boys. This....this was different. Me and Jocelyn were friends. We both liked boys. This was all just practice.

"Can I kiss you?"

Her whisper was quiet, barely hitting the air. I nodded and we were kissing. Limbs tangled and hands moving. This is what I wanted kissing Conrad to feel like. I hoped it would feel the same. The same thrill. The same buzz. We were only eight. My mom told me that love was feeling so much. I felt so much. For Conrad and for Jocelyn. But even though I was kissing Jocelyn, all I could think about was Conrad. How excited I was to kiss him like this. How happy Susannah would be when we finally told her we were dating. The joy on Susannah's face as she sits front row at me and Conrad's wedding. She always told me I was destined for one of her boys. So this feeling was just Conrad. I made myself think about Conrad as Jocelyn's lips moved with mines. I pull away and we breathe together. I open my eyes and she's staring back at me.

"Hey."

"Hi."

I rub her cheek with my thumb and her fingers drew hearts on my collarbone. Goosebumps grew on my skin with every gentle scratch. Conrad, Conrad, Conrad. This was just practice. Me and Jocelyn were best friends. Best friends helped each other with things like this. Sometimes best friends kissed so that they could be an expert once the time came for them to kiss someone else. This was all it was.

"We should probably go to sleep. My moms taking us to the arcade tomorrow."

Jocelyn nodded and turned off my lamp light. I could feel herself move forward until her stomach and chest were pressing with my back.

"Is this ok?"

I reached backwards for her arm and laid it across my waist. I shuffled backwards a little, leaning into her touch.

"Yea. That's ok."

Her breath tickled the back of my neck as we fell asleep that night. Skin on skin. Young and full of emotion. This was the summer I couldn't ever forget.